Building the perfect man

IF you ask some women to list the qualities they are looking for in a man, you are probably going to hear them list the ‘little things’ first – he must be helpful, loving, attentive, honest and encouraging. But another set of women will list the ‘big things’ first – educated, hard-working, and financially stable enough to take care of her and the family if need be.

But men are hardly ever the full package, are they? The man who provides an abundance of the little things – motivation, quality time and fun conversations – often comes with empty pockets, while the man who can spend the big bucks is often so caught up with making bigger bucks that he has no time for the little things.

If we could build the perfect man he would have it all, but we can’t so we asked women to choose which man is more appealing: the man with the big things or the little things?

Here’s the verdict:

Amara, 30, financial advisor:

I prefer a man who can’t necessarily provide financial stability but is helpful and motivates me to be better, because that’s just my love language and that’s what will make me happy. The little things matter to me and if he can give me that I would be more appreciative of his time, energy and effort that he will put in to get me that. The bigger things will come after, and we can work together on getting the big bucks.

Akeela, 21, student:

I would prefer the rich man because I can use his money to buy little things if I want. All who say money can’t buy happiness must have never had enough.

Myesha, 25, reporter:

I prefer the latter because I value support more than fancy gifts. I will always remember how someone makes me feel rather than what he bought me. Plus, I believe that once my partner is ambitious he is capable of being financially stable, so he just has to put in the work. Also, I consider myself independent so I really don’t need a man’s money and gifts – that’s just icing on the cake.

Shan, forex trader, 29:

I don’t like to choose; that’s why I have two men. The man who caters to my every need and is a huge part of my support system is my main man, but my side man does not think twice when dropping dollars. They each have their place, and the best part is that I can have my cake and eat it too.

Anna, 29, medical doctor:

I will choose the rich man who doesn’t do the little things. I can do them myself, that’s okay. My past is more than enough motivation for me.

Neci, 26, educator:

Back when I had no money it would definitely be the rich man because I didn’t have time to notice the little things – I just needed help. Now, I wouldn’t say I want a poor man but if you can meet me halfway and do the little things, that’s fine. I’ll be doing what I’m supposed to do to pull my weight, so once he can pull his weight financially and do the little things I like, that’s my guy.

Crystal, 28, brand manager:

I choose neither. I don’t want a rich man or a man that can’t provide my financial stability; I would rather someone in-between the two. My love language is tied among quality time, words of affirmation and acts of service. So, I need a husband who can give me all of the above. For me, the little things count. With that being said, I don’t want a man who has no intention of providing financial stability. So an in-between would mean he’s not rich, but he ain’t a bum either.

Shennay, 27, real estate agent:

The rich man, of course! His money can make up for anything he is lacking, and if he really loves me I can teach him to do the little things eventually. But at the end of the day I can’t eat effort, and words of affirmation can’t buy plane tickets.

Latoya, teacher, 34:

I would say a man who isn’t necessarily financially stable at the time, because a man can give you riches but not happiness. He could have all the money but the little things that matter aren’t there, or he could give me money but beats me when he feels like and takes away my financial freedom when he feels like. I would have to do as he pleases ’cause he owns me. I’d be better off with a man who can’t give me everything but can make me happy. Once he is not a lazy man, chances are we can go places together in a way that wil,l over time, ensure financial stability.

Nadia, 34, sales agent:

Easy. I would choose the financially stable man, and then cheat on him with the man who does the little things.