Girl, it’s OK (the marriage version)
MARRIAGE is a major life step that changes two people’s lives forever. Done right, it can be the most fulfilling, energising union, which will enrich both parties. Done wrong, it’s a yoke around the couple’s necks, especially if they don’t allow the relationship to flow naturally and build legs on its own.
Being married doesn’t mean that you have to lose yourself, and becoming one with your partner doesn’t mean forsaking your individual interests, no matter what others advise.
Remember, it’s OK, even after jumping the broom:
To not be much of a housewife
The requirement for the female partner to be a good housewife went out of fashion decades ago. It’s OK to not have a clue how to be the perfect housewife, not to have an interest in being one at all, and to even switch roles with your husband if that’s what you want to do.
To want to be alone sometimes
Cleaving to your husband and having a multitude of kids doesn’t mean that you have to be at their beck and call 24/7; it’s OK to be annoyed by the screaming toddler, the angsty pre-teen, and your mate with his ever-present needs. Sometimes all it takes is a retreat into your she cave to be alone and clear your head, and that’s perfectly OK.
To still receive attention from others
Being married doesn’t mean you’re dead — it’s OK to still feel flattered, and want to feel flattered, by compliments from others after you’ve made an effort to look good, have a new hairstyle, or have done something to deserve praise. A compliment from someone other than your mate isn’t a bad thing, as long as it’s not done in a suggestive manner.
To be unconventional
There’s nothing wrong with you if your marriage isn’t following the pattern your parents’, friends’, or anybody else’s is. It’s OK to be unconventional, once it works for you and your partner. All that matters is that the basics of love, trust and respect are upheld; after that it’s up to you how you manage your day-to-day affairs.
To have cold feet long after the wedding
It’s OK if years into it you wonder sometimes what you’ve got into and become scared of what the future holds. Marriage doesn’t mean that you’ll automatically live happily ever after. In fact, feelings of doubt will crop up now and then, and it’s OK to return to feeling scared about your future, the way you did when you were first tying the knot.
