All Woman
  • Home
  • Relationships
  • Features
  • Fashion & Beauty
  • Health & Fitness
  • Your Rights
  • Parenting
  • Advice
    • Home
    • Relationships
    • Features
    • Fashion & Beauty
    • Health & Fitness
    • Your Rights
    • Parenting
    • Advice
Girl, it’s OK (to be selfish)
All Woman, Relationships
November 15, 2020

Girl, it’s OK (to be selfish)

PEOPLE have a way of trying to devalue a woman’s worth when she fails to meet certain standards — some absolutely senseless — and many women will feel inadequate if they think they’ve failed at some achievements, or fail to reach certain milestones by a certain time.

Something as simple as the age one gets married or has children is often up for discussion and rebuke, but it’s time women knew that some of the things they’ve been criticised for are totally OK. Because there’s no point in living your life to please others, when it’s the only life you have to live.

So remember, it’s OK:

To have children when you want to

Whether this is later, after you have built a career, or earlier, before you do college, the choice of when to have children is yours and yours alone. Anything is possible with the advances in technology, and everything is also possible once you’re committed to achieving it.

For organised religion to not be your thing

Many women go to, and stay in church because it seems like the thing to do, even when good sense or personal preferences scream otherwise. It’s OK to leave, and forge your own personal relationship with God, even if you feel tied down because you have done the whole baptism, church membership and choir-singing shtick.

To seek opportunities to improve yourself

Whether it’s marrying for immigration status, deliberately seeking out someone who can help you financially, or leaving a job you love for one that pays more, there’s nothing wrong with seeking opportunities to improve yourself and your life.

To not want to be around toxic people, even if they’re family

Christmas is coming, and for some people the holidays come with a feeling of dread as we force ourselves to be around family members we may not like, or who mean us no good, just because they’re family. It’s OK to sit this one out, to WhatsApp them Merry Christmas, and to not show up for the fakery because you know the family is toxic the other 364 days of the year.

To use your horoscope to explain why you’re the way you are

So you’re emotionally distant, socially awkward and horrible with money — it may not be your fault if you’re a Capricorn. Don’t let anyone tell you that the stars don’t have a lot to do with the way your present and future are aligned, because you know, and have experienced that they totally do.

To propose if he’s hedging

So you’ve been with him two years, six months and four days, and he’s still not making the move to make an honest woman out of you. It’s perfectly OK to act in your own interests, get down on one knee and propose, and not wait for him to figure out what he’s doing. The worst that could happen is that he could say no — and then you can just move to Plan B, which may include hedging your bets elsewhere.

{"website":"website"}{"allwoman":"All Woman"}
0 Comments · Make a comment

HOUSE RULES

  1. We welcome reader comments on the top stories of the day. Some comments may be republished on the website or in the newspaper; email addresses will not be published.
  2. Please understand that comments are moderated and it is not always possible to publish all that have been submitted. We will, however, try to publish comments that are representative of all received.
  3. We ask that comments are civil and free of libellous or hateful material. Also please stick to the topic under discussion.
  4. Please do not write in block capitals since this makes your comment hard to read.
  5. Please don't use the comments to advertise. However, our advertising department can be more than accommodating if emailed: advertising@jamaicaobserver.com.
  6. If readers wish to report offensive comments, suggest a correction or share a story then please email: community@jamaicaobserver.com.
  7. Lastly, read our Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy
ALSO ON ALL WOMAN
The art of precision
All Woman, Features
The art of precision
How Carline Baghaloo refines care
April 20, 2026
FOR 36 years, Carline Baghaloo has served at Caledonia Medical Laboratory (Biomedical), transforming what many consider a scary medical necessity into...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
Dad’s paltry contribution
All Woman, Features, Your Rights
Dad’s paltry contribution
Margarette Macaulay 
April 20, 2026
Dear Mrs Macaulay,  I am seeking your advice regarding a matter currently before the Family Court involving my child’s father. In 2020 a court order w...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
Mama’s boy living in misery
Advice, All Woman, Features
Mama’s boy living in misery
Christopher Brodber 
April 20, 2026
COUNSELLOR, My mother rejected the first woman I was serious about, and chose instead another young woman who she said was more suitable, and who she ...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
He snooped, then oops!
Advice, All Woman, Features
He snooped, then oops!
JEVAUGHNIE SMITH 
April 20, 2026
SNOOPING through a partner’s phone may seem like a grand idea, after all, there should be no secrets in love. Because if we’re sharing a bed and body ...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
‘I want everyone to feel seen, heard, and made whole’
All Woman
‘I want everyone to feel seen, heard, and made whole’
Dr Paulette Duhaney’s journey to empower through therapy
Marie Berbick 
April 13, 2026
THERE are seasons in a woman’s life when the weight of the world feels too heavy to carry alone. Seasons marked by pain, disappointment, heartache, an...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman"}
Husband keeps infecting wife with STDs
All Woman, Your Rights
Husband keeps infecting wife with STDs
Margarette May Macaulay 
April 13, 2026
DEAR MRS MACAULAY, My husband keeps cheating and bringing home infections, and I spend a lot of time at the doctor. I think that it’s because of him w...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
Wife caught cheating on camera
Advice, All Woman
Wife caught cheating on camera
CHRIS BRODBER 
April 13, 2026
COUNSELLOR, My wife told me she wanted to go to the Airbnb we own to cool out for a few days, but when I checked the cameras, she was not alone. Basic...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman"}
Breaking the silence
All Woman
Breaking the silence
Sexual assault awareness in a changing world
ALAISHA THOMAS 
April 13, 2026
APRIL marks Sexual Assault Awareness Month, a time set aside each year to confront one of society’s most persistent and uncomfortable realities. While...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman"}
❮ ❯
Scroll
Polls
The art of precision
All Woman, ...
The art of precision
How Carline Baghaloo refines care
April 20, 2026
FOR 36 years, Carline Baghaloo has served at Caledonia Medical Laboratory (Biomedical), transforming what many consider a scary medical necessity into...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
Dad’s paltry contribution
All Woman, ...
Dad’s paltry contribution
Margarette Macaulay 
April 20, 2026
Dear Mrs Macaulay,  I am seeking your advice regarding a matter currently before the Family Court involving my child’s father. In 2020 a court order w...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
Mama’s boy living in misery
Advice, ...
Mama’s boy living in misery
Christopher Brodber 
April 20, 2026
COUNSELLOR, My mother rejected the first woman I was serious about, and chose instead another young woman who she said was more suitable, and who she ...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
He snooped, then oops!
Advice, ...
He snooped, then oops!
JEVAUGHNIE SMITH 
April 20, 2026
SNOOPING through a partner’s phone may seem like a grand idea, after all, there should be no secrets in love. Because if we’re sharing a bed and body ...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
‘I want everyone to feel seen, heard, and made whole’
All Woman
‘I want everyone to feel seen, heard, and made whole’
Dr Paulette Duhaney’s journey to empower through therapy
Marie Berbick 
April 13, 2026
THERE are seasons in a woman’s life when the weight of the world feels too heavy to carry alone. Seasons marked by pain, disappointment, heartache, an...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman"}
Archives
Polls
Recent Posts
The art of precision
All Woman, ...
The art of precision
How Carline Baghaloo refines care
April 20, 2026
FOR 36 years, Carline Baghaloo has served at Caledonia Medical Laboratory (Biomedical), transforming what many consider a scary medical necessity into...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
Dad’s paltry contribution
All Woman, ...
Dad’s paltry contribution
Margarette Macaulay 
April 20, 2026
Dear Mrs Macaulay,  I am seeking your advice regarding a matter currently before the Family Court involving my child’s father. In 2020 a court order w...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
Mama’s boy living in misery
Advice, ...
Mama’s boy living in misery
Christopher Brodber 
April 20, 2026
COUNSELLOR, My mother rejected the first woman I was serious about, and chose instead another young woman who she said was more suitable, and who she ...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
He snooped, then oops!
Advice, ...
He snooped, then oops!
JEVAUGHNIE SMITH 
April 20, 2026
SNOOPING through a partner’s phone may seem like a grand idea, after all, there should be no secrets in love. Because if we’re sharing a bed and body ...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman", "jamaica-observer":"Jamaica Observer"}
‘I want everyone to feel seen, heard, and made whole’
All Woman
‘I want everyone to feel seen, heard, and made whole’
Dr Paulette Duhaney’s journey to empower through therapy
Marie Berbick 
April 13, 2026
THERE are seasons in a woman’s life when the weight of the world feels too heavy to carry alone. Seasons marked by pain, disappointment, heartache, an...
{"xml":"xml"}{"allwoman":"All Woman"}
Archives
All Woman
Jamaica Health, Beauty, Weddings &` Motherhood Stories for the Jamaican Woman.
Sections
  • Relationships
  • Features
  • Fashion
  • Health & Fitness
  • Your Rights
  • Parenting
  • Advice
  • Relationships
  • Features
  • Fashion
  • Health & Fitness
  • Your Rights
  • Parenting
  • Advice
Jamaica Observer, © All Rights Reserved