Things we don’t talk about at Christmas dinner

CHRISTMAS dinner happens but once per year, and it’s the perfect time to catch up on some things — births, schooling, marriages, promotions, current affairs, and just about any significant milestones in our family members’ lives. But in many families, there are certain things that are better left unsaid at the dinner table, especially at Christmas time.

These are the events that happen behind closed doors, the stories that are passed on in hushed tones and quiet corners, the skeletons in the family closets.

These are some of the topics that won’t come up at the table in these families this Christmas, no matter how festive they feel.

Sheila, 27, teacher:

Every Christmas our youngest ‘brother’ comes to our father’s house for family get-together, and we all know that he does not belong to my dad. It all came out in an argument when he was very young that his mom cheated on my dad and got pregnant with him, and that is why they divorced. But it seems as if our father decided to keep taking care of him since he already had a bond with him, so the child doesn’t know. But he is growing older now and he looks nothing like the rest of us and it’s only a matter of time before somebody’s mouth slips.

Kirt, 37, tradesman:

So there was a suspicion that my youngest uncle fondled one of my cousins. When she was 24 or 25 my cousin, who had lived with the secret since she was a child, confronted him. Of course, he denied everything, but I recall he was just too close to her for comfort. Everybody played hush-hush the following Christmas. My grandmother does not want any “division” in the family, so to honour her wishes we have to tolerate and feast with him. Thank God for COVID because at least this year I won’t have to play hypocrite.

Simone, teacher 29:

When my granduncle died, one of his daughters tried to cash in on his life insurance and hide off some money for herself, but she did not know that he had told at least two of the other siblings about it. After she sold his house in California, she told her siblings that she had earned a figure that was substantially lower than what she actually got. Long story short, she came here and caught her husband cheating and when they got to the family house they ended up arguing. The husband soon started telling her not to judge him, because she was robbing her own siblings dry. He threw out paperwork and revealed all her schemes to them. She left before she could even bury her dad. After she shared the resources fairly with her siblings and apologised, they forgave her and pretty much acted like all of that never happened. Of course, she has since divorced the husband. People hug her up and treat her well at Christmas dinners and pretend she never tried to shake them down even though she is in the best position possible. Or maybe we just behave because she foots all the bills for these events. Anyhoo, we have been more than generous.

Karen, 38, geriatric nurse:

Two of my grandaunts are sisters, and their children are both cousins and siblings at the same time, because they have the same father. It was very long ago, and they say the man is dead, but I also heard that he ran away after the second sister got pregnant, because she was 14 at the time, so no one talks about it.

Kevin, 28, radiographer:

The house I grew up in was bought by my family for far less than it was worth, because a triple murder took place in it some months prior to the sale. Nobody told me this growing up, but my grandmother always said the place was haunted. Things are always falling and breaking and people are always seeing and hearing strange things there. I don’t really believe in those things, but I used to always hear footsteps late at night when no one was up, so I don’t like to sleep there when I go to visit.