The grass wasn’t greener…

“Even if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, keep to your own side; it’s where you belong. There you can plant your own grass and tend to it.”

WRITER Richelle E Goodrich expresses well the appeal of seeing something else as more attractive than your own — that human quality of always wanting something different. But what happens when we don’t heed the advice to water our own grass, and instead jump ship to find out if the other option out there is better?

These people share how believing the ‘grass is greener’ hype messed them up in relationships.

Chris, 35:

I was living with my babymother in Jamaica and honestly, I just wanted to get away because the place just a run away, and I was struggling. I met a girl on Instagram and we hit it off. Dated her in secret — she came to Jamaica a couple times and I met her in hotels. Babymother had no clue. Girl from New York was serious so we got married and she started the filing. My babymother still didn’t know, and I didn’t say anything until after the interview at the embassy. She didn’t take it well, even after I explained everything and that I was just trying to make a life for myself. Well, here I am in this place, miserable as hell, doing Uber Eats and still trying to just get by. I miss my family, but it’s not like I can go back because I have to make a life, whatever it takes, plus my babymother already found herself a good husband.

Tiffany, 40:

When you start to itch to try something new, you can’t see anything that’s good in your partner. You start to fall out of love with them and compare them to the new interest. This happened to me last year when my new neighbour moved in with his family. This man did everything — mowed the lawn, washed the cars, did home repairs, did laundry, took care of his kids — he did everything 50-50 with his wife, while my man was in the room, under the AC, playing PUBG. I got so annoyed, and I started comparing them and would cuss my man often. It was one day when I was talking to the neighbour and complaining about my man that he warned me not to do that, because every man was different. After he said that, I started to see that I was wrong, trying to force my man to be someone he was not. But I can tell you that in the heat of my frustration I would have risked it all to get this woman’s husband. Luckily, good sense chipped in before I lost my guy.

Cherie, 42:

Had my boyfriend in England, was being treated good and everything, but you know how the nights can get lonely, worse in COVID times? Well this man at work told a colleague of mine that he liked me, and would do anything to get me, and I guess just being lonely and wanting some attention made me give in. A few months in and it was going great, to the point where I even felt like this could be the big L. I didn’t tell my boyfriend immediately, but I had a heart-to-heart with the work guy and he assured me that he was serious about me, and that we should make things official. Finally told my guy, broke his heart… and moved in with work guy. Mind you, all this happened in the space of nine months, only to realise that work guy wasn’t looking for a partner, he wanted a helper to clean his pigsty of an apartment. He is also in debt and had told all kinds of lies about his past — he isn’t even divorced. Now I’m stuck because it’s not even like I have my British guy to rely on anymore, because he blocked me.

Floyd, 50:

The best advice I could give to anyone is to stick with the comfort that you know because all women are the same — everybody has their skeletons in their closets and their own demons facing, and if you’re trying to find happiness, find it within yourself first. I can say all that after losing my wife because I was chasing the flesh, and had this woman coming to my house when my wife wasn’t home all because she had a nice booty. ‘Story came to bump’ when she got pregnant and didn’t even have the decency to keep it quiet — she confronted my wife with the news and my wife kicked me to the kerb. I had to start over from scratch with everything, and even though I tried to make the relationship with the woman work because of the child, she was nothing compared to my nice wife. It wasn’t worth the effort, honestly, and I would do anything to get back with my nice, ‘boring’ wife again.