5 ways to make time outs work
“THESE new age kids don’t pay attention to time outs,” an exasperated early childhood teacher told dad Errald Budhoo when he picked up his toddler last week. The educator was describing to the dad how his son had calmly poured another child’s juice over the child’s head, and when put in punishment, had served his time, then went right back to raining blows on the other child.
But for Budhoo, time outs work at home for his son — whom he describes as “high energy”. And it involves three-minute intervals of sitting in a corner, with the length of the punishment aligned to the child’s age, as experts have recommended.
“We usually have good behaviour following,” he explained. “So I think at school he just had an off day.”
Manchester-based early childhood teacher Janet Rickards, who has taught for over 20 years, agrees that time outs do work, and recommends these steps for both educators and parents who use the discipline method to follow.
Understand the stage
Toddlers will explore — and this includes testing boundaries. So when they test your patience it’s not that they’re being bad, they’re just at the stage where they are ruled by emotion and caregivers should understand this.
Quiet time helps
When the toddler throws a tantrum, there’s no point in you getting upset too. Let them cry it out, then remove them from the situation that caused the meltdown or the bad action, and introduce quiet time. Time out doesn’t have to be in a corner facing the wall — it can be in a separate room with the child playing by themselves.
Remove the punishment stigma
If the child thinks that they’re being punished with time out, they will be more likely to lash out. Use the opportunity to introduce other coping methods to the child, as you seek to modify their behaviour. You want to calm the child down and teach the child how to behave, not let them think that time out is the hellish place they go when they’re being bad.
Let them know the consequences ahead of time
Time outs shouldn’t be a method of discipline you use willy nilly — it should be an established part of your routine. Don’t spring time outs on your child when you’re frustrated — the child needs to know ahead of time where the time out space is, and why they will go there.
Don’t expect miracles
No two children are alike, so while time outs may work for some, it may not work for others. If you see that the method isn’t working for your child, despite numerous tries, you have to find an alternative. The key is to understand what kinds of behaviours are normal at each stage, and retrofit reactions for the individual child.
