The last straw
FOR love we can overlook almost anything — a partner’s weird quirks and oddities, what may feel like endless hours of nagging, their dislike for our favourite foods, and even their snoring. There are some things though that receive an automatic red light.
We asked a few readers to share the point at which they knew that they could no longer carry on with their significant others, and there was no turning back.
Simone, 33, stylist:
He raised his hands to hit me. That was the end of it. I knew the next time his hands would not pause mid-air. Truly, if I stayed I would only be asking for trouble. Too many women get trapped in a cycle of domestic violence. I saw my mom do it and I am making sure that it doesn’t happen to me.
Graig, 37, contractor:
I can’t stand a lazy woman. I realised that no matter how much I would bring home, even as she didn’t work she wanted a helper, we always had to eat out, and her list of requests would just grow. I could not imagine life with a woman who did not add any value to my life or the relationship and she had no plans of changing. In her words, “You should be grateful for just my presence; from the beginning of time men have been taking care of women. If you move on I will find another you in days” — for me that was it.
Rashawn, 34, soldier:
She didn’t like my youth. Everything he did was a problem — she was always complaining, watching what he would eat and all that. Everything I got for him she had to comment that I was spoiling him and all that. She didn’t complain when I was doing things for her though.
Ameesha, 23, small business owner:
I went to the doctor having some discomfort in my lady bits. Well, it turns out that my boyfriend had given me not one, but two STIs [sexually transmitted infections]. Thank God they were both curable, but staying would set me up for something incurable like herpes or HIV. I know it can still happen when I move on, but if I stayed and it happened I would hate myself. On top of that, he got defensive and tried to accuse me when I confronted him. There was no turning back after that.
Patricia, 45, teacher:
The straw that broke the camel’s back for me was finding out that the man didn’t just cheat, but was fathering a three-year-old — our marriage had been three years old and our relationship five. I moved on and sent him on to take care of his family. I was not going to be the reason that he was not “there”.
Camille, 37, bailiff:
I do not have a problem with a man having a beer or two after work or on the weekends. However, when you are going to drink to the point that you don’t know yourself and you are vomiting all over yourself, I cannot do that. A habit that you say is your little hobby should not cause you and me embarrassment every single evening.
