8 pledges it’s OK to make
SADLY, as women we do so much for everyone else, that even if we do splurge and occasionally treat ourselves, whether it’s mom guilt or otherwise, we often feel bad for being selfish, when so many other people demand our attention.
But the phrase carpe diem wasn’t coined just for men; women also need to know that sometimes it’s OK to be selfish, if even for a little while, to fulfil some desire, some longing, some want for ourselves.
As we enter a new year, writer and new age advice guru Yanique Morais says this year’s the year to make a pledge to say yes to yourself. She reminds women that it’s OK:
1. To travel by yourself, and stay in a non-budget hotel. This is one of the best highs — entering a space where you’re just thinking about you, and not the husband and kids, not the bills, not the chores, and enjoying yourself for a while. So book that ticket and that hotel and that rental car, and go somewhere to chill by yourself, if only for a few hours or days.
2. To do that cosmetic surgery you’ve always wanted. Whether it’s lipo, new boobs, your butt, a mommy makeover or anti-ageing treatment, don’t let the seemingly high cost of surgery scare you. Do what makes you happy (and hot), because your hard-earned money shouldn’t only be spent on other people anyway.
3. To get into something taboo, even if you’re a “good girl”. Enjoy the wine, try some CBD products, whine to some raunchy dancehall, hook up with that guy you like… whatever it takes to get your repressed debauchery out. Life’s too short to be stuck in boring mode.
4. To seek medical help for your problems. Don’t be afraid to get pharmaceuticals — whether it’s for anxiety or depression, or to sleep, or to deal with everyday stresses. Not every battle is meant to be fought when you’re on E, so talk to your doctor about getting medication to help, and improve your life the way science meant for you to.
5. To want a break sometimes. Whether it’s from the husband and kids, from your job, or just the drudgery of everyday life, don’t feel bad for not wanting to be a mom or a wife or a worker sometimes — that’s perfectly normal. Instead, embrace the fact that a lot of women feel the way you do, then take a break to regroup, before going back to real life.
6. To stay and work things out. People on the outside can comment all they like, but they (especially the ones not in relationships) shouldn’t be the ones to tell you whether to stay or leave your relationship when things get rocky. And if you decide to stay, that should be your decision, and yours only. Don’t feel compelled to jump from the frying pan into the fire, or to change the life you’ve been living, when your partner has made a mistake that you can forgive.
7. To want something more. On the other hand, it’s OK to want more — in your relationship, your job, your life, and if it’s a yearning that’s recurring, it’s perfectly fine to do something about it. Don’t ever feel guilty for wanting more, and if you don’t get it, for seeking it elsewhere.
8. To not resolve to do anything until you’re good and ready. Don’t feel pressured into needing to go all out and plan your life for the next several months, just because it’s the beginning of the year. It’s OK to not have a plan, to wing it, and to already have your life together, so that 2022 will just be a continuation of the bomb year that 2021 was for you.
