Wives share stories of living hell with the other woman

THE other woman has been a part of folk culture for centuries. In fact, as far back as well, BC, concubines were the bane of many wives’ existence. King Solomon was perhaps the biggest hoarder, with his harem consisting of 700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines. One can just imagine that there was far from peaceful relations in that household.

Today, whether you call her mistress, jezebel, woman on the side, side chick, sweetheart, or homewrecker, this woman — the third wheel when a husband decides to have an affair — can either be a silent partner, holding her corner and causing no harm, or a lit fuse waiting to, or always causing a ruckus.

What’s the most frustrating experience you’ve had with the other woman? These wives share what made their lives a living hell.

Kim-Marie, 38, married 10 years:

She sent me a message on Facebook, right after my second child was born, telling me about their affair. Truly, at that point I was experiencing post-partum depression, and didn’t care at all, and I told her as much — that she should enjoy him. Apparently she wasn’t satisfied because she also found our house number and would call, wanting to talk, found my LinkedIn and sent messages, and when I returned to work she called the office, got my CUG, and then proceeded to harass me by text message. Trust me, I had no interest in this girl, but it seemed that she wanted someone to talk to about what she and my husband were doing, and was shocked that I wasn’t taking the bait. But truth be told, I didn’t even care what he was doing because childbirth had done such a number on my body and mind that, if he wanted to leave, I would have wished him well. Eventually I just told him to rein her in, and the messages stopped. We haven’t even spoken about the affair or whatever it was, but he is home, and is accessible, so I doubt he’s still fooling around.

Christie, 28, married three years:

It was frustrating because he decided to cheat with someone in our neighbourhood, so I couldn’t even bear my shame in peace — everybody knew. We had been trying unsuccessfully to have a baby, even before marriage, and when she contacted me and called me a “mule” that hurt more than anything because it meant that he had shared our struggles with her. I kept my head up, though, because I believe in working for my marriage, even when there’s temptation. He said it was just a brief thing, and it ended, but I still don’t feel comfortable venturing outside our home. We’re in the process of buying a house in another parish, and I’m pregnant with our first child, so I guess God is still working on us.

Stacy-Ann, 44, married 22 years:

She wrote me a letter, a “woman to woman” kinda letter, and sent it by post — yes, when the mailman came and I went out there, there were the regular bills, and this red envelope with a letter from her stating who she was, what she wanted, and explaining that my husband had told her that our marriage was dead, and we were just living together because of the kids. Her letter said she was a decent, moral, and spiritual person who had met her soulmate, and would not give him up. I laughed at first because this poor girl didn’t understand that my husband was broke and all the assets were mine, and he had presented himself otherwise. I told him to do better at controlling his women, but this particular one was serious — it went on for about two years, her contacting me, until I just never heard from her again.

Shanique, 25, married one year:

This isn’t exactly the other woman in that sense, but she’s his baby’s mom, who, I guess, never got over him. She lives in another town so he has to go and visit his daughter. A few days before our wedding she called me to confess that she slept with him on one of the visits and was pregnant again. I can’t tell you how devastated I was, and he confessed that yes, something happened, but he doubted she was telling the truth. And, to be fair to him, she didn’t have a second baby. You might say that I was foolish to go ahead with the wedding, but I love him. I’ve set limitations for how they should interact for their daughter’s sake, but she still finds ways to frustrate me everyday, and make me think that something is going on. Having to deal with this for 15 more years is a terrifying thought.