Cold feet experiences
HAVING cold feet before jumping the broom is quite common. After all, marriage is a major life decision that, for many of us, will only happen once. And so, even though we may have said yes to settling down and living happily ever after, prenuptial jitters will happen to even the most sure of us.
While for many it comes with racing hearts, some second-guessing and second thoughts along with questions of what if, and did I make the right decision, for other people, their cold feet was serious stuff.
These women, some of whom are still happily married, remember the thoughts they had just before marriage, which they can look back and smile about today.
Sanja, 32, married:
We were perfectly OK before that — he was a dad to three girls, with three different women, but that never fazed me the entire time we dated. But a couple days before the wedding, it’s like the devil entered my thoughts. I started thinking about how it would look to other people that my husband was three other women’s baby daddy, and I felt somewhat ashamed of him and embarrassed for how people would react to the girls at the wedding. It was a momentary selfish thought, but it did make me pause for a while.
Catherine, 30, separated:
We had saved ourselves for marriage, and that was OK with me because we were Christians. I couldn’t help myself for wondering though, if what I saw at the beach during a beach trip was a premonition of my future because, let’s just say, when he came out of the water, nothing significant was printed out in his swim shorts. I wondered if I was one of those ladies buying a puss in bag, to be condemned to an unsatisfactory love life. Turns out I was wrong, and he was OK. That wasn’t what ended our marriage — it was his arrogance that ultimately did us in.
Ally, 42, married:
I feared that I was settling — he was less educated, was earning less, wasn’t as good looking as my ex, and I wasn’t even quite over my ex, to be honest. But my husband was a kind, decent man, who was interested in settling down and I was getting older. That still didn’t prevent me from wondering if our differences would hurt the marriage in the long run. They haven’t so far, and I no longer have doubts that I made the right choice.
Karla, 44, divorced:
He had cheated before, so my self-esteem wasn’t the highest, but I wanted to get married. But you know, I think every bride has a moment of clarity before the wedding, where they ponder if they’re doing the right thing, and remind themselves that they can back out at any time, and do better. Those thoughts caused me to be two hours late to my wedding. With everybody waiting, I just broke down, and it was my mother-in-law who had to give me a pep talk. I should have listened to my gut because he cheated right throughout the marriage, and it took me years to summon the courage to leave.
