My wife tried to ‘tie’ me

Dear Counsellor,

First let me emphasise that I love my wife, and there was never any doubt about whether I would have married her, even though I did court other women during the time we dated. We have been married for a year, and certain roles are specific — I have never been good at household stuff, so she does her wifely duties and I make up by doing outdoor activities, and the arrangement works for us. I state this to explain why what happened occurred without me realising.

The other day our fridge started making noises, and I suspected that it had to do with it over-freezing, as that specific brand is known for that. My wife insisted that I call a technician, but I searched on YouTube and found the solution and got my tools out to fix the problem. She argued like crazy, but I didn’t want to spend money when the problem was a simple fix. I removed the items from the freezer, took it apart and fixed the problem.

While I was cleaning up and returning the frozen items, I found a small container of what I thought was ice cream, and I was worried that it was melted so I opened it, only to find the strangest sight. Inside, semi-frozen, were photos of me and my wife, tied together with red string and frozen together in a liquid that smelled strange. I was too shocked to say anything, so I just covered it back and put it at the back of the freezer. But I spoke to my mother and grandmother who confirmed my fears that she had ‘tied’ me. I put back the container where I found it as I was afraid, and since then I haven’t eaten from or been intimate with my wife because I don’t know what else she could be hiding. My parents say I should leave, but as I said, I love my wife. I’m also afraid, to be honest, that if I leave she may do some other crazy stuff. What’s your advice?

Of course, this is alluding to acts of witchcraft, a challenge many Jamaicans face. Some time ago I had to deal with a lady whose husband had done something similar and it had affected her. A team and I prayed for her, handling a full ‘manifestation’ of the spiritual situation. God is good! She overcame the issue completely. Her husband confessed to his misdeeds and begged for forgiveness. The Bible advises us to stay away from such things. The Lord strictly warned Israel not to dabble (Deuteronomy 18: 9-14).

There’s no need to be overcome with fear, just be aware. You’ll need to hear from your wife what that container is about though. She must have the opportunity to explain why it’s there, if she’d put it there, and what the purpose was. My advice to you:

1) Find out where she’s at. Ask her about it and how involved she is with any such thing.

2) If it was nefarious, give her an ultimatum. If she did it to tie you, she must destroy it immediately, or you leave. She must acknowledge and terminate any such activity if the marriage is to continue.

3) Get with a knowledgeable pastor and counsellor. Find Christian help that can pray with you both and lead you both to a safe spiritual place. You’ll also need counselling to deal with distrust.

4) Don’t fear: Put your faith in a good, loving God, and hold on to one of His promises from the Bible, such as: Jeremiah 33:3 / Psalms 103: 1-5 / John 3:16. Nothing nefarious can overcome the power of the one true God (see Luke 10:19). If you do end up separating from each other, she will be the one in jeopardy and needing repentance. There is no justification for obeah, voodoo, or witchcraft of any sort. Evil will always bring evil.

5) Be respectful and forgiving. Once you’ve spoken to her and prayed (do so now), and asked the Lord to preserve you, and got help, then do not fear to eat from and to be close to her. I trust you both will enjoy the intervention of the power of a good and loving almighty God.

Get on The Counsellor’s Couch with Rev Christopher Brodber, who is a counsellor and minister of religion. E-mail questions to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com.