Working moms
THE working mom is either glamourised, villianised or the extent of her work trivilalised, despite the valiant efforts of the mass media to sell the idea that having a career and navigating motherhood to its fullest extent is an achievable feat for many women.
Fact is, without the help of a supportive village — to include her employer — the concept of the career mom balancing it all is a farce, and the mom who doesn’t have this support is often unable to fully commit to performing at her best.
We asked four women to dish, what has their experience been like as a working mom, in the Jamaican context?
Danielle, mom of two:
I’m in middle management and my husband owns his own business, so we’re both super busy, but we can’t afford both daycare and a housekeeper. I find that despite my hectic schedule, I’m still expected to take on most of the childcare, do the meals, pack for daycare, follow up with school events, and basically do all the ‘womanly’ duties, while also doing my job. It’s very overwhelming and I’m always exhausted, but in my line of work I can’t complain, lest they think that I’m incapable. So I grin and bear it. When the kids are sick and I have to take time off work, I don’t say that it’s my kids why I’m absent. I don’t mention them at all, because I work in a very catty environment where any sign that you can’t perform is seen as weakness. It also doesn’t make sense to try to bargain with my husband, because he believes in traditional roles. So in a nutshell, being a working mom sucks bananas, and many, many times I wish I was one of the girls who could just stay at work as late as I wanted to build my career, and then have late drinks and dinners and parties, instead of cramming all my activities into an Excel spreadsheet just to have some sort of structure to my life.
Lesa, mother of four:
Being a working mom is hard — I own my own business but I still have to be their mom, that doesn’t change. As a single mom it’s also harder, and even though I have a live-in nanny, most of the stress falls on me. My company is very hands-on, and so just to make things work for everybody, my days start very early — at 4:30 am — and end very late.
Gayle, mom of two:
I’m lucky that my job has an on-site daycare that helped a lot when they were younger, and I’m allowed to take them in office, so it’s a bit easier. After school they come by and do what they need to do at my office, and it’s a family-friendly environment so everybody takes care of each other’s kids. I wouldn’t have been able to manage outside of this arrangement, and now that they’re teens, they can take care of themselves, and I can finally do brunches and go get my hair and nails done, without worrying so much about who will take care of them and things like that.
Peter-Ann, mom of three:
I have to hide and lie and play gymnastics, and it’s not the men in my company that’s the problem, it’s the women that make you feel like the worst, for daring to have kids. I work in marketing and I miss so much of my kids’ lives — I will leave home when they’re sleeping and get home again, when they’re sleeping. Literal days will go by without us interacting in person. I have to do this because I have to be at the top of my game, and if I’m not, someone else will take over. For important events at school, I have to sneak out and pretend I’m with clients, and just stay for a short while. I have to do school pick-ups in my barely-there lunch time, and God forbid they get sick, thank God for telemedicine because before it was quite hectic. I love my family more than my job, but because of the economy the way it is, I also have to work in this environment and hope that better will come.
