7 things you should insist on in love
THERE’S nothing wrong with having certain expectations from your partner or the men you date, after all, a man should complement you and not bleed you dry. Having a partner shouldn’t drain you, nor should it make you unhappy. And you should be so comfortable and happy in your relationship that you shouldn’t look at others and wish or hope for what they have.
So you love your guy and know you may never find someone quite like him. But this does not mean you should settle for less than quality in being with him. You should not compromise.
Here are some things you should be demanding, even if he’s a catch and you feel like you won the lottery just by bagging him.
1) Respect. You should be treated with respect and like a queen, no matter if the relationship is a year old, or 20 years old. Chivalry is not dead, and he should respect you enough to hold the door for you when you’re out, or grab the groceries from the car when you drive up, or not air your business on his WhatsApp status, TikTok or Instagram.
2) To know his people. Have you been going out for years but you haven’t met his family or friends? What’s his excuse? If you’re all living in the same country, this should be a no-brainer. Meeting friends and family is a key milestone in every relationship, and shows that you are not just a passing fling. So rubbish his excuse about his mother not liking strangers, or him not keeping friends, or that you two should build alone and avoid everybody else. Nobody lives in isolation and he may just be hiding you from his real life.
3) Love. If you are spending your time taking care of your man, then you deserve to be loved, and to hear it, and not just in the intimate space. Shouting it from the rooftops is so 1990, but he should at least be saying it loud and proud by how he treats you, and how he talks to others about you.
4) Communication. Communication is extremely important and every woman deserves to be listened to and to express herself. Only then will you both know what the other is feeling. It therefore behoves the man to listen to the woman in his life, even if she chats non-stop and even if he zones out sometimes. It’s also important that he speaks up, and not shut down whenever there’s a problem. Only communication will get you out of the funk sometimes.
5) Recognition on special days. Acknowledgement of your birthday and other special days is important, even if he doesn’t celebrate them. This is especially important if he has not been appreciating all the effort you put into taking care of the family. Whatever his personal views are on Valentine’s Day, for example, that’s not your business. Him not acknowledging these will make you feel like you’re not valued in the relationship.
6) Safety and security. A woman deserves a man who will make her feel safe and secure. She wants to know that if she has a problem he is able to help her solve it, while at the same time easing her worries. He should be her rock in times of strife, and her shield in times of struggle. This safety net will make her feel secure and invested in the relationship.
7) No cheating. Even if he’s being chased by every woman on the planet, if he says he loves you, he should be able to resist temptation. You deserve respect, and not dealing with the drama of having other women calling your phone, filling your inbox with messages, or ganging you on the street telling you to leave their man alone.
