Yes, men are embarrassing

IF it’s one thing a man is going to do, he’s going to embarrass you, as proven by Good Morning America TV anchor TJ Holmes and his affair with his co-anchor Amy Robach being revealed to the world in full colour last week. The affair is one thing, but what also emerged is a Facebook post Holmes wrote on his 10-year anniversary in 2020, in which he seemed to be giving his wife reasons to leave him, hinting that it wasn’t the first time he was playing her.

“I gave her plenty of reasons, excuses, and opportunities to walk her fine ass out the door, but instead, with her built-in black woman superpower, she showed a grace and patience that’s incomprehensible,” he wrote in the viral post.

At the time he gushed about his wife and their connection, adding, “But if she would even spare another 10 minutes of her time for me today, I should consider myself blessed.”

Holmes is not the first, or the last man to embarrass women — in his case, his “black woman superpower” statement was most cringeworthy as if his wife was made for pain and suffering; made to stay through infidelity; made to tolerate crap.

Who has been your version of TJ Holmes? These women tell the astronomical lengths men have gone to, to embarrass them.

Rae, 37:

He emotionally abused me for years, constantly referred to ‘the one that got away’ — his ex who wasn’t ready for marriage. Having his kids didn’t change the narrative. Being a good wife didn’t change his narrative. He went on and on for years, comparing me to her. One time we were at a function, she had just returned from travelling so she was there too. Instead of paying attention to me, his wife, my husband hovered around his ex, even though, to her credit, she wasn’t giving him the time of day. When I saw her reject him, scorn him, and saw him there still begging like a dog, I rediscovered my worth, and a few months later I filed for divorce and left.

Yvonne, 47:

I have a full-time job and he’s self-employed, so when he wanted to put a taxi on the road he asked me to take out the loan with the loan company. I reluctantly complied, even though he was my husband, I just don’t like the debt thing. Anyway, I took out the loan and gave them his information for correspondence, and he promised to pay, and I moved on with my life. Would you know that one day I was browsing social media and I saw my picture posted on a loan page as a delinquent. So this man had stopped paying, ignored the messages from the company, allowed the loan to go to collections, and I knew nothing, until I saw my picture online.

Simone, 32:

My child’s father asked for a baby, begged for a baby, then as soon as I got pregnant he cut. For the whole nine months I couldn’t find him, but I stayed in touch with his folks. When my baby was born he showed up at the hospital, said the baby looked like him and signed the birth records and insisted that the baby have his last name and “legacy”. Then he disappeared again. When the baby was three I needed financial help so I went to court for support and served the papers at his mother’s home. After that I was served with papers from a big lawyer he hired, saying that he wanted custody. I was forced to find a lawyer, but on the court date he didn’t show. He keeps playing around, and it’s heartbreaking.

Cadence, 25:

When I say this man dissed me, and I stayed there because I thought I was in love. Numerous other women were in the picture. My neighbours would tell me that as soon as I’d leave the house he would bring other women in, and I didn’t listen. I lived with this man and cooked, washed, cleaned while he disrespected me. Then he was in an accident on Mandela with another woman in his car and called me to pay the tow company, and when I told him my card was maxed out he got upset. My parents had to basically stage an intervention after I went to them for money. I can look back and shake my head now, but at the time he acted like God, and like I had to put up with all that to be credited with his attention.