How did you find out you were the side bae?

THERE are women, and men, who are confident enough playing their roles on the side because from the get-go they understood that there’s the main and they’re the side dish. And then there are people who have no clue and find out after some time in their relationship that they’re not number one, but number two or three.

This discovery can be devastating, after all, most of us enter relationships with the hopes of them developing into something more serious. And when we give our all, only to find out that there’s really no hope of moving past the roadblock of another person, it can ruin our impression of love. How did you find out that you were the side piece?

Anthony, 38:

I have two phone numbers, one for work and one personal. She had both. When she posted a WhatApp status wishing her ‘husband’ a happy birthday, with a series of photos of them together, she had blocked one of my numbers, but not the other. I was in a meeting at work and got bored, so I took up my CUG and started viewing some people’s statuses. I totally blanked out when I saw the photos she posted because, one, I had no idea that she was married, and two, I had no idea that I was her man on the side, because she had not indicated such. When I confronted her she acted surprised that I didn’t know and made me feel simple and stupid.

TJ, 30:

She left WhatsApp web running on her laptop one night, and when I went to use the computer I saw messages to a man who she was referring to as ‘sugar bae’. Now while I knew that her main man lived overseas, I thought that they were getting a divorce and I was the main guy she was dealing with in Jamaica, at least. So, technically, I was already her side piece, but she told me she was separated. What I didn’t know was that there were other dudes that she was talking to and taking money and vacations from.

Corrine, 40:

His wife showed up at my house one Saturday morning after I had just given birth to our child. He was living with me, and the times he was not home, he said he was at work in the country. But the wife was also being told the same story. So I thought all along that I was his woman, but he had a whole wife and other family in St Mary, and the poor woman had just found out about me and the baby because she saw some items in his car and decided to confront me. By the way, I also found out that I was also not the only woman he had a child with outside his marriage.

Nats, 28:

He invited me and some of my friends to a cookout at his house on New Year’s Day. When we went he said that all the cooking was happening outdoors, and he didn’t really want many people going through his house and pointed us to a porta potty downstairs. He said he had everything covered, and so we just sat down and hung out. Hours passed, and later in the evening we were all having fun, drinking and playing games, when this woman came outside and started greeting people. Very pretty, classy woman, the kind of woman that everybody paused to look at. She had a ring on, and I assumed she was a relative or a visitor. But based on their interactions — he brought her a plate and when she sat he went behind her and kissed her neck — I realised that she was his wife. I had no clue, and just sat there in stunned silence.