In a room full of your exes…
A Chinese bride’s wedding reception video went viral earlier this month after the wife invited, and seated, all her exes at one table. All similar in appearance, with similar mannerisms, the five men were lauded for being civil enough to accept the invitation, and also cool enough to celebrate with their former girlfriend.
While the occurrence was indeed unusual, it’s not strange for many or us to remain friends with our exes, and even celebrate life moments with them. But in the event that all your exes were gathered in one place, what’s the message that people would read from it? We asked some people, if all your exes were together in one room, what event would people think was being held?
They’d think it was a Christian convention, or probably some kind of baptism or exorcism. For some reason I — not a Christian, not traditional in any way — always attract religious fundamentalist/fanatic types. They’re drawn to me like bees to honey, and because I know they won’t make certain demands, and I can remain virtuous while collecting gifts, I’ve amassed a few in my collection.
People would probably think it was a wrestling competition or some gunman gathering, because I’m sure they would all be fighting. Every one of my exes was a hothead — and not the nice kind of hothead who will defend your honour but rather the ignorant kind of man who will “throw fist” at every chance. I’m reformed now though, I’ve changed my dating habits.
‘Dolly’ expo and fan club —I can’t tell you the amount of lipo and surgeries I’ve paid for, and the amount of fitness and weight loss programmes I’ve signed my exes up for. I believe a woman should look as good as she feels so all the women I’ve been with looked like a million dollars because I treated them all well.
Only pretty boys to my thing — people would think it’s a model scout programme. I have a type: cute, tall and sadly, unemployed. Lol. I’m always taking care of these pretty boys.
People would think it’s a psychiatry convention or something like that — is pure mad man in my past; they were either bipolar or narcissists or something. I just, unfortunately, attract the needy, deep types with mummy or daddy issues who stare into your soul and infiltrate your mind with their craziness.
Hmmm, probably a book club for body-positive women. I like women on the chunkier side who love their curves, and also love knowledge. So she’s smart, curvy, and loves herself.
Nice guys — the ones who finish last. Lmao. I’m a sucker for giving men a chance, even when I have no interest in them. The truth is, I can’t say no. And I really like bad boys but all the decent guys like me, and I feel bad saying no so I will say yes to dating these nice, good guys, then find a reason to end it without hurting their feelings.