Playing detective opened Pandora’s box
LAST week, in reaction to the Reesa Teesa debacle, revealing the lies men often tell in relationships, the expert recommendation was that people in relationships should do background checks on their other halves, before getting too serious. These could come in the form of legal checks on marital status, financial checks on debt status, and medical checks on their health status, all in a bid to ultimately protect one’s self from being victim of a big con.
But what do you do when your checks reveal something you weren’t prepared for, when you open that Pandora’s box? The people below tell what happened when they played detective.
Bridget, 48:
We were dating for probably a year when a mind told me to do some digging, because things seemed to be getting serious and I didn’t want to go into another year and not know everything about him. I kinda knew somewhat that he had some court matters with his ex and his daughter in the past, but it wasn’t really something he talked a lot about. Anyway, one weekend I slept over and the Monday he left for work. I was supposed to leave after, but I called in sick, and the devil led me to his safe. I knew the password, as it was the same as his PIN, which was his birth date, and in the safe I found the court, and other papers, and read them. That’s when I found out that he had been married before, was a deportee, had been accused of child endangerment, beat his ex, and had another criminal record in the small island where they’d both lived before. This wasn’t the man I knew, but I made an excuse and tek weh myself soon after that discovery.
Colleen, 37:
He said he wasn’t a social media person, but I knew some of his family members, including an aunt who is somewhat of a public figure. I followed her on
Facebook, then searched for other people who followed her, who had the same last name as my man. The ones who had public profiles, I browsed their photo albums. Eventually I found some photos with my man, including recent ones where he had a whole wife in New York, and that’s who he would often fly to see, claiming they were business trips.
Kalisha, 39:
I went through his medicine cabinet and Googled all the medicines and creams I saw there. He had several unfinished packets of antibiotics from different dates. I don’t know why a man would need antibiotics so often, unless he was seriously ill, or got infected often.
Cassius, 42:
Found out she was a serial loan borrower and defaulter when I helped her apply for her free credit report, after she was rejected for a car loan, and acted like she didn’t know why. It was bad. She had also absconded on paying electric bills, owed furniture stores, and had about three credit cards sent to collection agencies. I thought her only debt was to SLB, but homegirl was on a roll with her debt.
Xavier, 37:
I wondered why her little sister was dead stamp of her, even though she was adopted and the sister wasn’t. She said the scar on her stomach was from appendicitis surgery. Found out later that her parents were raising the child she had as a teen, and the scar was from a C-section.
