To the moralist, prostitution does not consist

So much in the fact that the woman sells her body,

But rather that she sells it out of wedlock.

— Emma Goldman, Anarchism and other Essays

What is marriage,

But prostitution to one man

Instead of many?

— Angela Carter, Nights at the Circus

CAN you imagine if a man had written the above quotes? Mercifully they were said by women, and eminent authors too. Even so, I’m pretty sure they will incur the wrath and ire of many women who read them. Now, this is a very ticklish and sensitive subject and one which evokes great passion, anger, resentment and debates, if not violent arguments.

I was involved in a scientific focus group that was discussing this age-old question of prostitution, its ramifications, problems, risks, benefits, and even whether it should be legalised or not. The discussion was quite heated, and opinions and facts flew back and forth. But first some feedback to, ‘When Men Say No’.

Hey Teerob,

You don’t have to give away all our secrets, man. Next thing you know, I can’t screechy outside and get a little piece now and then. The new car analogy was good, after all, why drive an old car when a new vehicle is available? I must admit, you hit the nail right on the head. Keep up the high standard of research; indirectly, you are preventing infidelity.

Naj

Hail Tony,

Men should also have the power to say no to women. By so doing they take away the woman’s trump card and leave them with very little to hold over a man. When a prisoner goes on a hunger strike, he has the authorities begging him to eat food and so turns the tables on them. They then desperately try all sorts of ways to get him to eat. More men should have hunger strikes, and let the women find innovative ways to serve sex up on a platter. It bruises a woman to know that men can lock shop too.

Dennis

Ah, prostitution, that realm of womankind that exists in a nether world of intrigue and shadows, and for some folks who live in denial, it doesn’t exist at all, or it does but should be wiped off the face of the Earth. But prostitution is as old as time, and is deemed the world’s oldest profession. That would make it the world’s oldest commercial venture, as buyers and sellers get together to negotiate and complete deals.

Who came first, the buyer or the seller? We’ll never know. But what we do know is that the economic laws of demand and supply apply here in its purest form. Prostitution is mentioned in the Bible, and in fact some harlots rose to prominence, while others were saved from stoning, as those standing in judgement could not bring themselves to fling the first rock.

The focus group that I was involved in examined the phenomenon of modern-day prostitution. Oh yes, the names may have been modified and the terms mollified to Call Girls, Ladies of the Night, Escorts, Sex Workers and other nice-sounding monikers, but in reality, a ho is a ho, is a ho. Is that why the black American male often refers to his lady as his ho?

But who really is a modern day prostitute? Well, based on research, they come in many forms and disguises, as many men have been paying for sex without knowing that they’re in a business relationship. He only finds out when his money runs out and she follows soon after. “I thought that she loved me. I didn’t know that it was strictly business.”

One member of the focus group gave this story of this man who got involved with this young lady for a few weeks. She had to take a little trip overseas, so naturally he took her to the airport. Lo and behold, as they were bidding each other good-bye, she casually slipped him an envelope stuffed with utility bills and told him to take care of them in her absence. Not a loan, not a promise to repay, but rather, “Here, pay these for me… don’t miss me too much, see you next week.” The man was dumbfounded, but took the bills and left them at her apartment and never contacted her again.

One member of the focus group gave this story of this man who got involved with this young lady for a few weeks. She had to take a little trip overseas, so naturally he took her to the airport. Lo and behold, as they were bidding each other good-bye, she casually slipped him an envelope stuffed with utility bills and told him to take care of them in her absence. Not a loan, not a promise to repay, but rather, “Here, pay these for me… don’t miss me too much, see you next week.” The man was dumbfounded, but took the bills and left them at her apartment and never contacted her again.

Then there are the countless stories of women who refuse to get involved with men unless they can be ‘set up’, as the saying goes. They must be set up in a nicely appointed apartment, furnished, of course, complete with a car in the driveway so she can tool around town and show off, plus have her fridge stocked with groceries to boot. If by chance the goodies stop, then her goodies stop too… if you catch my drift.

This attitude has filtered down to even very young girls, some still in school, who offer up sex for goods and money. Why is this so nowadays, why do so many women want something from men in exchange for a little loving? There has to be a reason, but it sure eludes me. It puts a strain on men, who lose trust, and also those other women who are genuine and only want love in exchange for love.

Li’l Wayne also sings:

I wouldn’t care if you were prostituting

That you hit every man that you ever know.

See, it wouldn’t make a difference

If that was way before me and you girl.

As long as you keep it real

Whatever’s on yo mind

Speak on how you feel

Stay truthful to me

And never lie to me.

It seems that as long as both parties know what the deal is, and the arrangement is honest, then it’s okay. But what about the modern-day prostitutes who don’t see themselves as prostitutes? Truth be told, many exotic dancers, massage parlour girls and even escorts, do not see themselves as being prostitutes, but merely as service providers for their clients. To them, prostitutes are whores, those low-life, low-class girls who stand on the street corner and call to men in fancy cars.

Those present in the focus group strongly defended their position and even had disparaging words about those women of the night. The streetwalkers in turn cursed wives, saying that they do exactly what they do, but only behind closed doors and with one man. “You think say any woman going to sleep with any man for nothing? She want something out of the arrangement too, so them shudden look down pon we and curse we. All a we is one,” they said. Hey, their argument can be backed up by the above quotes and others… written by women, I must reiterate.

But there can be no supply without demand. The fact is, almost every man alive loves and is fascinated by prostitutes and panders to the needs of the modern-day prostitute. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t spend lavishly on women, just to have sex with them. All this wooing, wining and dining, spending money… what do you think it’s for?

Modern-day prostitution exists, and more men are buying into it. It’s akin to leasing cars as opposed to buying the vehicles. You have all the pleasures of driving without the headaches of the maintenance. If it breaks down or starts to give trouble, you just trade it in for another. The men in the focus group admitted that if they could have sex twice or three times a week with a woman, without commitment, they would be happy, as the long-term financial and emotional cost would be less than being married or committed.

I know that some people don’t like to hear this, but the truth has to be accepted when spoken and we can’t bury our heads in the sand. Most people are living a lie anyway, and also live in denial. Even now, some of you are cursing me. But focus groups are usually accurate.

Regarding those ‘real prostitutes,’ the consensus from the focus group was that they should be legalised. By so doing, the ladies would be tested regularly, thereby reducing the risks of HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. This has been done successfully in some first-world countries. Some even said that that they could provide a conjugal service for prisoners in order to reduce the levels of homosexuality behind bars. Who would pay for this service though? Hey, there’s always government subsidies, so who knows?

The reality is, prostitution is here to stay and no power on earth can eradicate it. The other reality is that every jack man would like to be with a prostitute even once, for the experience, and harbours thoughts of such an encounter. “Oh, if only I could do it and get away with it,” I have heard from men. Many great men have gone that route, men of power and wealth who still dole out hundreds of thousands of dollars to modern-day prostitutes.

I personally know ‘respectable’ married men who buy prostitutes every week, and yet they’re happily married. Just ask any man about his wife’s sexual inhibitions and infrequency and the answer always is, “I wish she was a whore in bed.” Now, in this modern-day world, there are also modern-day male prostitutes too, but that’s for another night.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: It’s really astonishing how falsies have now become the norm. Back in the day, only older church sisters and grannies wore wigs, but now artificial hair is the order of the day. With apologies to the Pied Piper, there are black ones, silver ones, gold ones, purple ones, blue ones, red ones, orange ones, long ones, short ones. It’s hirsute to suit. Combine these with false eyelashes and false nails and we have women who rival the six-million dollar woman with their artificial parts. Why is this phenomenon so popular, why do women hide their real hair and even pluck it out to replace it with falsies? I’m sure there is some scientific/social explanation. But that’s us, and that’s why we are so special. And guess what? The men are doing it too.