Othello: I will chop her into messes!

Cuckold me?

Iago: Oh, ‘Tis foul in her.

Othello: With mine officer!

Iago: That’s fouler.

Othello: Get me some poison, Iago, this night.

I’ll not expostulate with her, lest her body

and beauty unprovide my mind again.

This night Iago!

Iago: Do it not with poison, strangle her in her bed,

Even the bed she hath contaminated

— Shakespeare, Othello, Act 1, Scene 2

For those of you who came in late, a cuckold is a man who has been cheated on by his wife. To be cuckolded meant to have been given bun in those days. As you can see, this cheating business has been going on from time immemorial, and it will never stop. The words may change, but the act remains the same.

Sometimes it’s real, other times it’s imagined, but the result is always the same — hurt, anger and sometimes violence. Look what Othello had planned for his wife, poisoning, even as Iago suggested that he should strangle her.

The irony of the above scene is that his wife was innocent of cheating, but that scamp Iago told lies on her, resulting in a tragic end for all. Which just bolsters what I said about cheating being real or imagined, the result is the same.

Even so, there are people who cheat, and, there are people who think about cheating but don’t act on it, and of course, there are serial cheaters — those who do it as a way of life.

The reasons why people cheat have been explored, but what I haven’t touched on is the category of people that cheat. That’s right, there are professions that cheat more than others, and we’ll see who they are, right after these responses to ‘Lifestyle woes’.

Hi Tony,

I know from first-hand experience that lifestyle changes are sometimes difficult. My curse and addiction is the love of desserts, the everyday consumption of pastries, cakes, ice cream. I know this is not healthy, as it raises my blood sugar level to diabetic ranges. I excuse this sweet addiction with the fact that I do a brisk two-mile walk five days a week. But I know that I must change my eating habits as I get older and my metabolism slows down. It is time to seriously consider life or style.

Jerry

Teerob,

This lifestyle thing is so difficult. People like what they do and they do what they like. Deep down they know that what they’re doing is wrong, but somehow they hope that it won’t happen to them. Why should I stop smoking when I’ve been smoking for 30 years and am still okay? Why should I lose weight when I still feel fit? And why should I give up drinking when it makes me feel so good? That’s what they all say until they end up on the ward.

Stewart

The statistics about cheating spouses are startling as it’s said that over 60 per cent of couples will cheat at least once. This figure is higher in some countries. Here, the advice columns are filled with people who went away on a short trip, had a fervent, fun-filled, fleeting fancy, and then grappled with guilt and remorse after.

For others it’s a way of life as they have a string of affairs spanning years sometimes. And this applies to both men and women. So don’t think for one minute that it’s only men who cheat. That’s what women want you to think.

What’s interesting, though, is the professions that have the highest proportion of cheating. I have seen the research, plus I have observed people around me who have provided grist for my mills.

One profession that cheats a lot is sales. People in sales have to travel frequently and, by going up and down, far and wide, meeting different people on a daily and nightly basis, the odds of cheating increase exponentially.

This has been so for decades, and escapades about travelling salesmen are legendary, bordering on folklore, because of how colourful they are. They’re like sailors, but on land, having women in every port.

They go from town to town, city to city, and door to door. I have known a few who work for our major utility companies, and those guys have women in every parish, with some even having separate families. “Wife in Kingston and woman with pickney in Westmoreland; never the twain shall meet.”

I always remember this brown-skinned friend of mine who had a string of little brown babies all over Jamaica. You couldn’t miss them as they were like little brown clones in the all-black towns.

Then there are media workers who are also high on the list of cheaters. I know of what I speak, as I used to head the department of a major media organisation back in the day. I could write a book, but don’t worry, names would be changed to protect the guilty.

Those guys were always ‘out on assignments’ which took them to places where they met all and sundry. For some reason, women seem to fall heavily for cameras and microphones, and many fell prey to the promise of being in the video lights.

On many occasions I got the blame for those guys being away from home so often, as the story that they gave their wives was that I kept on giving them these ‘weekend assignments’ that took them out of town. Oh what a cruel boss I was! Many wives would chastise me, but I had to just take it like a man and keep my mouth shut.

But guess what, the females did it too, so even as the husband’s goose got cooked, as the women were having a gander too. How fowl!

Housewives also cheat, and in these days one could call the role of the housewife a profession. The research states that many housewives become drawn into a humdrum, boring existence of looking after the household, caring for the kids, grocery shopping and mundane things like that.

Oftentimes there is something missing from their lives and they seek a little thrill now and again. The advice columns are filled with the tales of bored housewives who had a brief fling with a stranger or neighbour, just to get it out of their system. “There was no love, just sex, and I only wanted a little excitement in my boring life.”

It’s even worse if they’re neglected by their husbands, as that will fan the flames of her fickleness faster and more furiously.

Money talks, and the official survey revealed that the professions that make good money also have the highest incidents of cheating. Let’s not forget musicians and actors, as people were always warned, “Don’t ever go out with a singer or musician as they will break your heart.” We can name quite a few who have multiple children all over the place, right here in Jamdown.

Financiers also cheat a lot, for where there’s finance, there’s also money, and you know what they always say, “Show me the money, Honey.” High-powered male or female financiers are known to cheat as the temptation is always there, plus the money gives them a sense of empowerment and entitlement. Show me a wealthy financier and I can bet that he’s sleeping with his secretary.

The same goes for the medical profession, as doctors and nurses are way up there on the cheating index. Women are drawn to doctors and men just love nurses, and, of course, doctors self-prescribe nurses for themselves too.

The legal profession is fertile ground for cheating as lawyers, known for their gift of the gab, can talk people out of anything. And let’s not forget pilots and flight attendants who can literally cheat anywhere in the world and no one would know.

From London to Lagos, Toronto to Tortuga, Dublin to Dubai, they have the opportunities, the wherewithal and the time.

Now, I know that I’ll be bombarded by howls of protests for labelling entire professions as being high-incident cheaters. But statistics don’t lie. “Teerob, I know many doctors, pilots, bankers, salespeople who don’t cheat.” That may very well be true, for not everyone falls into the mould. But then again, how can you swear for anyone?

I didn’t include members of the clergy in the high proportion of cheaters, but we do know of what’s been happening in that profession, so don’t be hasty to jump to anyone’s defence. Obviously it’s not everyone in the professions mentioned who cheats, but the propensity for cheating is higher in those groups. Did I mention politicians… should I?

So when choosing a lifelong partner, bear that in mind.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: Backtracking a bit to our Concacaf Gold Cup exploits where we came second once again after appearing in two consecutive finals. We did exceptionally well to achieve that feat, and it breaks my heart to hear people criticising the team and the coach. No one thought that we would have reached that far, but we did. What pleased me even more was that the team comprised Jamaican-born players who obviously showed more commitment. As for our goalie and Captain Andre Blake, who won the Golden Glove Award, he should have been awarded Man of The Series. I say, a job well done, Reggae Boyz.