If circumstances lead me,

I will find where truth is hid,

Though it were hid indeed

Within the centre.

— Shakespeare, Hamlet, II, 2

The truth shall set me free; liars have to have good memories; lying lips are an abomination to the Lord; tell the truth and shame the Devil. So much has been said about lies and lying that I’d be lying if I said that lying isn’t a part of the human mosaic.

Yes indeed, man mek fi tell lie, and when I say man, I mean woman too. Lying seems to be second nature to people, and lies of all forms simply roll off the tongue and out of the mouths of everyone. Yes everyone, for everybody lies… with justification of course.

This fact was expressed in the June issue of National Geographic Magazine which has on the cover the headline, ‘Why We Lie’. I shall delve into that further, but can you imagine how I felt when I saw that cover story in none other than the esteemed National Geographic?

I was intrigued, a bit amused, but slightly annoyed. Why? Because years ago I wrote a column titled, ‘Must Lie’, where I pointed out that people have to lie to survive in this world. That column got so much traction and criticism that even the Reverend Ronnie Thwaites took me on about it and invited me to defend it on his radio programme. Well, I defended it as best as I could, but some persons were still not pleased about it.

Well, see it deh, story come to bump, as the big big National Geographic Magazine has said the very same thing that I was saying all along, and more.

We’ll get into the science of lying, right after these truthful responses to my stressed-filled diatribe titled ‘Stressed Out’.

Hi Tony,

I know well whereof thou speaketh. My job was very stressful, which resulted in sleepless nights, high blood pressure, and angina when I exerted myself. I was on prescribed medication for this malady and had to learn to manage my stress. I eventually learned to get nights of good sleep and take things in stride. When I retired from my job, I discovered I no longer had high blood pressure and my angina disappeared and, with my doctor’s permission I was taken off medication. It’s also a proven fact that sexual activity is a great release of stress and also improves longevity.

Kenneth

Hail up Teerob,

Stress is the number one killer, as it brings on all sorts of illnesses. Too many people take their work home, dump it on their family; and stress everybody out. I hope my husband reads your column, as he’s a textbook stress basket case.

Liz

“How can you tell when that man is lying?”

“Easy, his lips are moving.”

So goes the old joke about people who lie a lot. I must be careful when I label professions, but some really do have a questionable reputation when it comes to lying. One is used car salesmen, who have always been the butt of lying jokes. That’s because they always bend the truth, embellish the facts, paint a glowing picture of the cars that they’re selling. “Very low mileage, lady-driven, only on Sundays to church.”

The others are lawyers. “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”

“Ah, can I think about that? Define truth. Truth has precedent.”

Oh how they have been accused of perpetual prevarication! So much so that another moniker for lawyer is liar. I didn’t make that up, but it’s a universal saying. But the truth is, everybody lies to some degree or another, and the reasons are varied. The main one being to appear better, more successful, loftier in other people’s eyes.

National Geographic explains the science behind our complicated relationship with the truth. It outlines that honesty may be the best policy, but deception and dishonesty are part of being human. In other words, just as I pointed out years ago in that infamous column, people born fi lie.

Of course, there are different degrees of lies, even though the Bible says that all sins are equal before the Lord. But mankind has put a spin on it to justify their lies by saying, “That’s a big, fat, damn dutty lie,” as opposed to, “Oh, it’s just a little white lie.” Naturally, being white makes it all right, but I won’t go there today.

Learning to lie is a natural stage in child development, says the research, and psychologists at the University of Toronto have explained how children become more sophisticated liars as they age. Even when caught with their hands in the cookie jar and their mouths covered with crumbs, they will deny it.

“Did you take any cookies?”

“Oh no, Rover took it.”

But it doesn’t take advanced research to discover that children lie, even though parents put it down to a child’s vivid imagination. “Oh Danny has such a wild imagination with all those wild, fancy tall tales.” In essence, de pickney just damn lie. But scientists say that it’s okay, it’s a part of the human development, plus they also proved that the brighter children lie more.

Why lie though? Why do we have this propensity to not only bend the truth, but shatter it to bits? Some of the reasons are personal transgression, to cover up. By doing so, we hide what wrongs we may have done.

“Did you tief out your father’s car last night?”

“No Mummy.”

Avoidance: to escape. “Did you sleep with my wife last night?”

“No boss, that never happened.”

Pathological: to ignore and escape reality. “I just finished a round the world trip with the Sultan of Brunai.”

Social or Polite: to avoid rudeness. “No madam, your make-up looks stunning.”

Altruistic: to help people. “No ma’am, it’s no problem changing your tyre for you.”

Humour: to make people laugh. “My penis is so big that I tripped over it last night.”

Self impression: which shapes one’s position and image of ourselves. “I have the most important job in the company, systems engineer.”

Personal Advantage and Economic Advantage: “I can do it better than her with my vast experience.”

Take your pick, regarding why you lie, from that list above. I guarantee that you fall into at least one of those categories, if not all of them. And if you say otherwise, I suggest that you’re lying.

We have so many examples of people who have lied their way into jobs, claiming that they were PhDs when they didn’t even have two GCE O’ levels or CXCs. Many were discovered, caught in their lie, but some still manage to slip through the cracks and go undetected.

Quite a few so-called big people tell big lies too, and National Geographic quoted lies from US presidents that were absolute whoppers. “I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally.”

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

“I was not involved in Watergate I am not a crook.”

“That was the biggest inauguration crowd…ever.” Try and match each president to those lies.

Other people lie to escape danger or other dire situations, like when a woman asks her man, “Did you sleep with my best friend?”

“Oh no, my dear. Never.” Shaggy’s song, It Wasn’t Me addressed this, and rose to become one of the best-selling international hits of all time.

Women lie about their age, and especially about their past, diminishing the years and also the number of lovers that they have had. “I only had one boyfriend before you, honey, I swear it.” But men lie in the opposite direction, especially to their friends. “I slept with over 600 women.” Lies, lies, damn lies, but all for a purpose — self-preservation or ego-boosting.

If you lie in court it’s called perjury, which is a very serious offence that can have severe consequences. If a politician lies, it’s called a campaign promise. That’s right, you can have future lies too. “Vote for me and I promise you a chicken in your pot every Sunday.”

Some people lie to protect other’s feelings, and justify it too, citing compassion. “No honey, you aren’t fat, just a bit plump.”

“Oh sweetheart, don’t worry, size doesn’t matter.” All lies, but done because we’re human and born to lie. It’s just in our nature. So I hope that those folks who questioned my article, ‘Must Lie’, will now accept my words, given that the highly respected National Geographic Magazine is verifying the same thing that I was saying all along.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: There is a lawlessness that has overtaken our society that is more than alarming. And what’s even more shocking is that it seems to be occurring with no consequences. It’s been addressed before, but nothing seems to be able to fix the attitude of taxi drivers, motorcyclists and some bus drivers. Their lack of civility and common decency has surpassed that of wild animals as they do their terrible acts without fear or remorse, and with impunity.

The taximen park on main roads, at busy intersections with doors open as they await passengers. Honk your horn to have them move and be prepared for a cussing. They cut across three lanes of traffic to get easy passage at the traffic lights and block you in. Yet, I have never seen them being pulled over by a cop but I have seen private motorists being ticketed for barely stopping to let passengers off, though.