To punish me

For what you make me do,

Is most unequal.

— Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, II, 5

Nothing can seem foul

To those who win.

— Shakespeare, 1, Henry, IV, V, 1

The first quote is for the victims, as they often protest that they are lured into a compromising situation and then punished for taking action. The second quote is from those who succeed and justify their actions, as they see no wrong in what they did. The end justifies the means, they say.

Essentially, both factions are two sides of the same coin, as it simply depends on the perspective of who wins and who loses. Unfortunately, the stakes are very high, as the victims can lose a lot, and the victors also lose in the long run. The common denominator is the vagina, that organ that never ceases to cause problems for mankind and womankind too, even as it provides pleasure and pain for so many people.

It’s necessary for the birth of man yet, in-between birth and death, the vagina causes so much crosses such as domestic violence, trouble and strife between husband and wife, courthouse business, job loss, murder and suicide and, of course, untold pleasure. All are attributed to the vagina.

Some people win by it, gaining financially and materially, while others may lose everything because of it. It’s a small organ, but it causes huge problems even as it gives monumental pleasure.

Who are the victims of the vagina and who are the victors? We’ll find out more right after we kick off with these responses to ‘Football fever’.

Greetings Teerob,

Sentiments are shared with your writing about vetting the playing style of these youngsters when compared to the adult league/senior national team. A lot of resources are required to upgrade a league and run a national programme, even with a shoestring budget. I distinctly remember our under-19 team reaching the World Cup semis/finals with Wendell Downswell at the helm within the last decade. If the style and the team are competitive/attractive, the economics will follow suit.

Kurt

Hi Tony,

Great article about football. Passions run high in North America too. I was at a domino session yesterday afternoon with a bunch of Jamaican friends when the championship MLS game was showing on TV. Everyone had one eye on the domino game and the other eye on the football game. Nothing can compare to the passion of schoolboy football in Jamaica though. Is it true that KC won a million dollars in a competition? Football has certainly come a long way. Outstanding performance.

Curtis

Wyandanch, NY, USA

The vagina seems to have got on a new lease on life nowadays, as the media landscape is littered with stories of powerful men falling victim to this once-thought-of-innocuous organ. In the same breath, many women are claiming victory over these men.

What’s the true story? Why is it that suddenly after years of inactivity or media hype, the vagina is now the central figure in the downfall of so many great and powerful men? Actually it’s nothing new, as this sort of thing has happened before, although a bit differently.

Back in the day, women didn’t complain against men on behalf of the vagina, but men were still victims of that organ, brought down by its use. Remember the mighty Samson, strongest man on earth? Brought down by the vagina.

Just last week I read that Christine Keeler had died, and it spurred some memories in me. Who was Christine Keeler, you may ask. Well, she was made infamous by her actions in the House of Parliament in Britain. She was an English model and showgirl girl who had affairs with British politician Lord Profumo, as well as with a reputed KGB officer Captain Yevgeny Ivanov, a soviet naval attaché, back in the 60s, resulting in a scandal of epic proportions that brought down the Conservative party’s reign over Parliament and resulted in at least one suicide. In effect, almost everyone involved became victims of the vagina.

Nowadays women are emboldened, and know that they can achieve victory with the vagina. Suddenly it’s the rage to wait 10, 15 or even 30 years to unleash the power of that organ as they claim sexual harassment — minor, medium and major. Dozens of women are singing the same sexual song with a chorus that makes strong men quiver. Fingers are pointed, names are called, dates and places are documented.

Whether these claims are true or not is anybody’s guess, but what is true is that many big men in the USA have become victims of the vagina. The names are numerous and well known to many — Cosby, Weinstein, Lauer, Simmons, Spacey. Well, Spacey wasn’t a victim of the vagina as he was accused of sexual encounters with young men, but the scenario was similar, sexual harassment, and he was brought down. He was stripped of his role in a TV series and all the scenes in a movie that he starred in were reshot using another actor.

Those accused men have all lost their multimillion-dollar-paying jobs, their wives left them, and they are ostracised by society — vilified vagina victims. Some take it very badly, with one man committing suicide because he couldn’t face the music and repercussions of the organ he played with many years ago. He was a prominent lawmaker too, so the shame and scandal were too much for him to bear.

But what makes these women wait so long before making these serious vaginal vocalisations and accusations? That’s because there is no statute of limitations when it comes to the vagina. It does not forget. Some say that they were sexually assaulted, drugged and raped, seduced and violated, groped in public, but felt helpless to come forward because the men were so powerful and could perhaps ruin them.

If the accusations are true, the men should face the full extent of the law. But if they are not, then the women should pay a price also. What I find really bewildering is that some women will accuse a man of groping them during a photo shoot, even as their husbands took the pictures, while they were being fondled.

They stood there smiling for the camera even as they were fondled from behind. Then they waited countless years to bring forth the accusations. It may very well be true, yes, but I can’t help but find it strange. I cannot think of one Jamaican woman I know who would let a man grope her buttocks, or anywhere else, while she stood there smiling for the camera and not take action. Hi lady, at least you could move away.

Either they would recoil and retreat, shot the man a box or at least scream out in dismay. I know quite a few ladies who were touched inappropriately, and their responses were swift, sure and severe. “Well, I box him cross him face, then bring back the backhand for a fresh one until him jaw twist and ears ring,” was what one lady told me.

Somehow those vagina victims fit a certain profile. When you look at those American men who claim to be victims of the vagina, they all have a certain look — old, fat, bald, ugly, unattractive. But they were all powerful, and wielded their power with impunity.

They come from all sectors too — Hollywood moguls, TV executives, news anchors, sports coaches, big-wig politicians in Congress. Even one wheelchair-bound ex-US president was accused of groping women repeatedly. “But is what wrong with dem old man deh, dem cyaan keep dem hands to demself and dem trousers on?” We all heard about the Hollywood casting couch, where eager wannabee stars were obliged to satisfy these powerful men in order to get ahead.

It’s an epidemic of epic proportions, as the vagina is now the weapon of choice to bring down powerful men. I wonder when that tide will reach Jamaica, and will women start to call names of prominent people? What a crosses and day of reckoning that would be! My advice is, keep your hands to yourself, don’t touch no body.

So who are the real victims of the vagina — the men who lost everything because of it, or the women who were violated, used, abused, shamed? Those men may be powerful, but nothing is as powerful as the vagina. There is no victory over the vagina, but most men are victims, slaves to it in one way or another.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: The schoolboy football season has come and gone, and it was glorious, with its fair share of excitement, spills, thrills, passion, pride, disappointments and achievements. But nothing happens by chance. There are dozens of schools — urban and rural — and many competitions running simultaneously, with numerous matches being played. That takes enormous planning and co-ordination and I must commend ISSA, with Mr George Forbes at the helm, for bringing off another successful schoolboy football season. Hey, tomorrow is Christmas Day and I wish for you all a happy, holy and peaceful day, my friends, and may God bless you. Stay safe.