This is the conclusion of a two-part feature on the life and career of Jamaican bobsleigher Jazmine Fenlator-Victorian.

FOLLOWING the thrill of the historic 2018 qualification when she and Carrie Russell nicknamed their sled “Mr Cool Bolt” after the flick Cool Runnings and legendary Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt, Fenlator-Victorian took a break from the sport to recover from the physical and emotional stress that comes with representing the country.

What the public saw was the fact that they joined 11 former male athletes, 10 of whom are bobsleighers, as the only Jamaicans to compete in the Winter Olympics at the time, but they did not see the sacrifices and mental strength it took to accomplish that feat.

“You’re willing to make a lot of sacrifices on the home front, on the financial front, on your relationships, even physically, and you just push through. When I finished the Games I had to cut a lot of weight, due to a weight rule, but also [had to] remain really strong — so just that regiment and discipline takes its toll on you.

“I was so proud of how I performed at those Games and my team. But unfortunately we had some sled malfunctions and a lot of drama around that, and a lot of extra baggage that was not really necessary — which led to our performance not being where it needed to be.

“It took its toll on me because I already did three years prior to switching to Jamaica and had to battle from zero back up to a certain level. And, you know, at times my husband and I, we had blankets and slept in cars, and because we had a manual car when going to training and we didn’t have enough gas, we kicked that into neutral and rode down the hill,” Fenlator-Victorian revealed.

“Carrie could tell you, sometimes we would make soup for the week and have to make it stretch — just out of water and some frozen vegetables to try and make the soup stretch — because everything went towards training. Everything went towards becoming an Olympian because we were not going to go down without a fight, and we knew if we gave everything — regardless of what happened — we could hold our heads high and be able to move forward.

“But again, that takes its toll emotionally and physically and on my bank account. I live in the [United] States so there was no way I would even probably get cleared to rent from a place because my credit score was so bad. My debt was through the roof and I have a disabled mom and a family that also depends on me. So, I had to take a break and heal myself in those ways,” she explained.

It was during that reflection process that Fenlator-Victorian launched her business ‘Goalden Theory’ amidst the novel coronavirus pandemic and later resumed working out at home as she prepared to hop back into competition when sport resumed.

While caring for her mother after a heart replacement surgery and waiting to find out if she had secured qualification for the 2022 Winter Olympic Games, Fenlator-Victorian’s world tumbled like an old building struck by a wrecking ball when her younger sister Angelica passed away on December 28, last year.

Though she was taken aback by the situation, Fenlator-Victorian refused to be reduced by it.

“I actually didn’t know, even if we qualified, if I would go because I didn’t know [whether] I was in the right headspace to leave my mom where my sister lived and help take care of her, and I didn’t know if that was where I needed to be at the time. But, I headed to China a few weeks after,” the business mentor recollected as she sat back.

“They both really fuelled me. Before, my sister, I was actually nervous to tell her I was going to try for a third Olympics because we’re nine years apart, so most of her life I’ve been doing sport on the road. But when I told her she was like, ‘Yes, I’m so excited.’ She was my biggest cheerleader so it really inspired me to know that the sacrifices I’ve made in my life left such an impact on her short life, for her to really find her own way, and the same for my mom. So that’s what fuelled me to pursue and perform in these Olympics.

Despite the performances not being what she had hoped, Fenlator-Victorian expressed pride that she was able to defy the odds and parade her skills under the circumstances.

“I’m still wrapping my head around the full experience. Part of me is a bit scared to dig too far deep because of the pain of losing my sister and the thing with that is, I’m not sure if I could pick up those pieces and function — but I also know it’s something I have to deal with. So, looking at everything, I am not satisfied but I’m proud of my performance,” the historic monobob athlete said while fighting back the emotions.

I can do better

“I’m not happy and I know I can do better and I know my team also depended on me to do better, but they also respected where I was at the time. To be able to do what I did is something remarkable, and I cannot appreciate that process either. So it’s almost like a double edged sword — you’re really proud of yourself for what you’ve overcome and been able to do, but you’re also disappointed in the result itself,” she reflected.

Then came the million-dollar question, at 36 years old is a fourth Olympic in sight?

“I never like this question because I feel like once you answer, the hype is either there for you to continue or everyone’s ready for you to retire and move on. So for me, age is just a number,” she said while flashing her infectious smile.

Fenlator-Victorian added: “It has to be a decision that comes to you, if you can afford that choice. Sometimes, you know, unfortunately, [due to] injury or something, you can’t afford that choice. I’m in a place where I can afford that choice. So my main thing is to work back on my business right now and connect with family. I’m going to stay fit and ready and, if the opportunity is there, I’m going to take it. If the opportunity leads me in another direction, I’m going to take that too.

“Maybe I’ll have a greater impact coaching or maybe it’s time for me to pass the torch so, no promises. I’d love to be an athlete until I can’t anymore but that’s not reality, so I’m just taking it for what it is now…not closing any doors but if one pops open a little extra, I’m going to take that.

Having built the Jamaican women’s bobsleigh programme from the ground up, Fenlator-Victorian demonstrated that the price of success is hard work, dedication, and the peace of mind that comes from knowing that whether she wins or loses, she applied the best of herself to the task at hand.

“All goals in life are a process and the path of that process can take multiple bends and turns along the way so embrace the journey. My mission was to be the best that I can be and — win or lose — I’m in love with me and the process. I would love to win and have a gold medal, or any colour medal, but if it doesn’t happen I know I gave my best and that’s okay,” Fenlator-Victorian declared.