WITHIN each friend group there tends to be multiple personalities. To name a few, you have the fun friend who is the life of the party, the responsible friend who plans everything and the busy friend who needs weeks of advance notice before a get together.

In my friend group, there is a special category for the “mental” friend, the one who overthinks, gets emotional and catastrophises, has whiplash inducing mood swings, mini mental breakdowns and frequent anxiety attacks. While I am the friend that is permanently in that category, there are moments when my other friends fit in accordingly.

It may seem unlikely to you that you could possibly know or have a friend who fits in the ‘mental’ category, but mental illnesses are more common than we think and it is entirely possible that someone you work with, are friends with or even related to could be struggling with one.

Now that you are equipped with that bit of knowledge, I urge you not to go around asking everyone you know if they are struggling with a mental illness. Instead, if there is a person you are close to that you suspect might be in the ‘mental’ category, someone who suddenly no longer enjoys the things they used to, seems withdrawn, angry or sad for an extended period of time, someone who seems anxious or expresses feeling of hopelessness… If you know someone like this and you would genuinely like to support them, here’s how you go about it.

Avoid saying following:

This too shall pass

Try to think positive

Things are pretty bad for me too

Maybe you should pray about it

How to actually help:

The University of Google is your friend in this one, there is a plethora of information on the various mental illnesses, but it may be helpful for you to research the most common ones, anxiety and depression. Once you’ve read up on the symptoms, you may be able to identify what illness your loved one is struggling with and will be equipped with treatment options if they are open to that discussion

While researching is important, it is most important for you to listen (without judgement) as they share what they are going through. Try not to share any personal experiences that you might have, instead, let them know that you are here for them and ask if there is anything they would like you to do.

Encourage treatment if you suspect that what they are going through is overwhelming for them. You can even offer to accompany them if they feel afraid or help them research treatment options. A mental health professional will be equipped to accurately diagnose their mental illness and get them on track with overcoming or implementing coping mechanisms.

Persons who suffer from mental illnesses are not burdensome, though we often think of ourselves in that way…we really just need a sympathetic support system and more often than not that just equates to a non-judgemental listening ear. All the best!

Sereta Thompson is a public relations professional and mental health advocate. She can be contacted at seretaathompson@gmail.com Follow her on Instagram: @ShadesOfSerri