A Jamaica Defence Force (JDF) soldier is encouraging fathers to use the love they have for their children as motivation to remain supportive despite life’s challenges.

“This makes you a good father… the love of your offspring. It doesn’t matter what you have to offer because you can be mentally challenged and still love your child. You just need genuine love and that will help you hunt the opportunities for your child,” Lance Corporal Kevin Silvera said.

The 30-year-old father of a two-year-old son told JIS News that experiencing love as a father for his child has been his greatest experience.

“I never knew I could love someone unconditionally. The mere fact that he’s probably sleeping, I stand up staring at him and think, ‘I can’t believe he is my genes,’ because my son is my twin,” he shared.

“My son opened my eyes to how unselfish I can be…I never knew I had that in me,” he continued.

Against this backdrop, the St Thomas-born soldier added that protecting his son is an important duty as a father. He said although risky, serving in the army is a necessary aid to help protect innocent citizens like his son.

“When you sign up to serve the country, you sign up with death in mind because you’re the first line of protection for your country, but I live by my mantra. It says it is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees,” he said.

“You can’t leave the country to the mercy of criminals,” he continued, adding that since serving in the JDF from 2015 he has noticed a lack of empathy in youngsters from all social classes.

“When you interact with the younger generation you realise that there’s a lot of anger in men. Men don’t normally show each other love in this country and it comes from a lack of fathers and a lack of males showing empathy and love towards their sons or family members,” he said.

As a result, Silvera said, his experience as a soldier has given him a unique perspective on matters of youth violence in Jamaica.

“From a civilian point of view you would blame the Government, but [in my position], you realise that most of the problems in the nation are caused by us, the citizens. [It’s] from the lack of trust in the justice system to us being unruly overall,” he told JIS News.

He said parents should own up to their responsibilities and show empathy and love to their children, no matter their age.

“I always tell my parents, no matter how old I get, they are always responsible for me because I never asked to be born. So love your child and be there for him. A lot of times it may be hard, but always consider that the child didn’t ask to be here, and how would you feel if you were in your child’s position,” he asked.

Silvera recalled a moment spent in the hospital with his son when he did not realise the nurses were calling the name of his son to see the doctor.

“Then it dawned on me that it’s my son’s name. [At that time] it didn’t fully sink in that I actually had a son,” he said.

Despite this moment of forgetfulness, he said proper planning was in place before his birth.

“My child was planned for, and it was the right time. I had my finances intact; I had a plan, so he wasn’t unexpected. I knew I was ready, so when it happened I was elated,” he shared.

Part of his preparation included setting specific goals for himself throughout his youth, and after achieving them, “I felt like I enjoyed my young adult life as much.”

According to the first-time father, acquiring assets wasn’t the only thing he did to prepare himself for his son.

“You cannot know when you’re fully ready, you just have to be aware that having a child takes sacrifice, and you need to be selfless. Every decision you make not only affects you, but it also affects that little human,” he said.

With this in mind, he has a strong desire to give his son a life he never lived.

“I don’t want to spoil him rotten, but I want him to enjoy life to the maximum, to not worry about the next meal, going to university, or anything he wishes to achieve. I want to have a bond with him and for him to say, ‘My dad made it possible,’ ” Silvera said.