THEY’RE the kind of stories you’d once upon a time only hear in rum bars after midnight, told between raucous laughter and exaggerated hand gestures. The woman who opened the door with just a towel on. The stranger who whispered a marriage proposal before even asking a name. The boss who cornered a male employee at the office party. But the more the stories have piled up, the less funny they’ve become for men.

Some are actually absurd, some are humiliating, and some are terrifying. Nobody really talks about the moments men become the target, when a woman’s charm mutates into pressure, and when flirting turns predatory. Society teaches men to see attention from women as a fantasy, but it rarely prepares them for the reality that this attention can become invasive, manipulative or just brutally inappropriate.

This is a collection of those stories from men; the moments that left them stunned, flattered, confused and disgusted — sometimes all at once.

Lenny, 35, electrician:

I was doing electrical work at this house, and each day I would see a neighbour, older lady, sitting on her verandah watching me. One day she walked over and said I had a nice aura, and I was a good worker. Next day, another neighbour approached me, and said Miss Paula had told her about me. This woman was more direct. Without me getting too vulgar, all I’ll say is that she wanted to be a jockey when I was the horse. She promised that this would be an everyday activity, and promised that she had five acres of land and was willing to gift me some, as well as farm produce that she currently had. I politely declined, but she said she would oil me down everyday and I would want for nothing. Mind you, this woman was much older, and on the outside, looked like someone’s Christian grandma.

Solomon, 37, landscaper:

My wife warned me about this one woman in our community who was always asking me to fix things, but I always brushed her worries off. Well, one time my partner was overseas, and the woman asked me to come take a look at her washer. When I arrived at the house she answered the door, holding two glasses of wine, and said, “I got tired of throwing hints”. I just left hurriedly, and it was months before I told my wife what happened, because I didn’t want to prove her right.

Pete, 40, contractor:

In my line of work, I depend on a lot of referrals and recommendations. So I’ll do a job for one person, and they’ll recommend me to their friends and things like that. One day a woman called me to do an expansion on her house, similar to what one of her family members had done. I told her the large consultation fee (I use that to deter idlers) and she paid immediately, and we set an appointment. When I pulled up at her house, she opened the door buck naked, and said the place was so hot, and I shouldn’t mind her. When she saw my shock, all she did was put on a short robe, and we had the consultation with her just like that, and that was probably the hardest I’ve ever had to work to keep my composure.

Wayne, 44, trainer:

One particular woman would come to my gym without underwear, and it was pretty obvious. Then she would blatantly flirt — I mean like flirt and grab on to the men’s privates, making everyone uncomfortable. But because she was a high society woman, nobody really said anything, even though they hated it. She was finally banned from the gym when a new trainer reported her to management, and they had the camera footage. He was new, didn’t know her status, and was just not going to take any harassment. And I commend him for doing what the rest of us were too afraid to do.

Theo, 46, IT specialist:

I find that women are like rabid dogs, especially when they know you’re in a relationship. I spend a lot of my time just telling women no. Men need a “me too” movement too, because women are more sexually abusive than men, they just get away with it. I think my worst stalker/obsessed/weird story was with this one woman, my wife’s co-worker and good friend, who told me straight up that she wanted me because my wife had said I proved the ‘shoe size prediction’. She said my wife was too fat for me, and was infertile, and said she could do what my wife couldn’t. I was equally horrified, disgusted and angry.

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