Counsellor, I turn 37 this year and I have been single, and waiting for my husband, all my life. I had a whole plan for my life, and thought I would have had a husband and family long ago. I am very involved in church and service groups, and I go out often with friends. I am not just sitting at home waiting, yet no man has ever shown interest. I need some advice, as I would hate to think that it’s my destiny to be single. How do I get God to give this spinster calling to someone else, so I can find a partner?

You are single and you would like to find a suitable partner to marry. Understood. The desire to find a partner is good. In the beginning of time and creation, at the start of human history, the only challenge the Lord seemed to have had with creation was singleness. According to the Bible, in the book of Genesis, everything was “good”, until one thing was found “not good”. Adam was alone. And so, the Lord gave him a wife.

You are involved in your church, therefore you might appreciate the scripture, Matthew 19:10-11. The gift of singleness is something few possess. With that gift you won’t crave a romantic relationship. A person with that privilege doesn’t need a spouse. Like the Apostle Paul. But for the rest of us — 1 Corinthians 7:2: “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” Therefore, you boldly seeking a husband is fine.

REV CHRIS BRODBER.

Consider being bold with making prayer requests also. I commend you for seeking advice. So, what do you do? This option, if adhered to, has the potential to stretch you, and beyond your expectation. If you execute this, you may very well be a different person in a few months. And your chances of finding a spouse can significantly improve. Your problem is really potential. Your challenge presents a great opportunity.

While statistics say most long-term romantic relationships are now being formed through online connections, and not through universities, churches, gyms, parties, etc, that’s not my primary suggestion. Online dating has worked for some. Social media, etc, is having some success, even while it carries some risk. My suggestion isn’t to begin hunting for a spouse online.

My advice is to begin hunting for locations to visit online. Look for places and events to visit. Travel! Travel repeatedly to foreign destinations. Go to one or two places several times — Barbados, St Lucia, or Antigua. Or the United States. Go repeatedly to the Midwest. Maybe Illinois, Ohio, Iowa. Find churches, conferences, seminars, in some of these territories. You will find that there are people just like you praying for someone just like you to come along.

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Yes, there’s a cost to travelling. But pushing yourself to travel will indeed stretch you. You could grow in ways you never thought. Search online for appealing events and go. Try to get familiar with folk and the lay of the land. Then return to the place a couple times. Make sure to be smart and safe. Do your “homework” and plan carefully.

I’m not suggesting that you turn up declaring “I have come for a man”. No. Go with the intention to participate in an event, to make friends, to explore. And watch what happens. Get out of your comfort zone and familiar territory. Invest in yourself! There are travel groups you could also book with. But for best results you may want to go with just one person and then possibly return by yourself a few times. Again, be smart — be safe!

My U2 Project has done matchmaking, I can therefore tell you that the pool of available, stable, Christian men and women in Jamaica is small. Only looking within Jamaica will present a challenge. Your chances get much better when you are open to others from abroad, and if you travel. Go ye, therefore.

Get on The Counsellor’s Couch with Rev Christopher Brodber, who is a counsellor and minister of religion. E-mail questions to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com.