How to encourage your partner to get tested
So you want to do a HIV test. How do you encourage your partner to get tested as well?
Will the request cause a rift in your relationship?
Every situation is different, however, there are some simple principles which can be kept in mind if you find yourself in such a situation.
Althea Bailey, lecturer in the Department of Community Health and Psychiatry at the University of the West Indies, and member of the board of governors for Jamaica AIDS Support for Life, gives these tips:
1. Have a conversation
When approaching your partner with this issue, remember that a conversation is a two-way process — you speak as well as listen. There is no need to start with an accusatory tone as this will only establish barriers which will ultimately work against you. Once the topic of HIV is brought into the conversation, immediately barriers may go up. However, if you approach the situation nonchalantly, then you should begin to see some progress. For instance, instead of saying, ‘I think that you should get a HIV test’, say , ‘You know I was reading online the other day that six out of every 10 Jamaican who have HIV don’t know they have it.’ From this angle your partner would be able to see your rationale behind wanting him to do a HIV test.
2. Do it in private
Taking to your partner about HIV is a personal conversation, one which must be had in a private, neutral environment. So you don’t want to have the discussion in a public place as this may cause embarrassment to not only you but to your partner as well, as other people can eavesdrop on your conversation, thus making your partner uncomfortable.
3. Attitude
When approaching this topic with your partner it is important to have a non-confrontational attitude.
4. Ensure you know all the details
Suggesting to your partner that he take a HIV test is one thing. However, knowing the details of the testing is an entirely different thing. You must have an idea of where you are going to take the test, how much it costs if there is even a cost, etc.
5. Where do we go from here?
It is important to consider what the next step will be after the HIV test. Will there be a trust issue? Do you both need to speak to a counsellor? Is using a condom now important?
