Post break-up analysis
Let’s face it, break-ups are tough! But what’s even tougher is the aftermath of the break-up – dealing with the questions, the loneliness, can be a bit overwhelming at times. But psychotherapist Craig McNally says there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Remember:
1. Life goes on
Even though a break-up can be quite an emotional experience, you have to remember that life indeed does go on. But in order for it to do so, you have to be willing to muster up the courage to get back out there. You have to be willing to deal with all the hurt and get ready to dive right back into the dating scene and find someone much better. There are seven billion people on planet earth, a good percentage of which are eligible, so rest assured that you will find love again.
2. Go on, admit it, you did learn a lot!
If you are willing to push all the pain and hurt aside, when you objectively assess your relationship you will find that you did indeed learn something. Whether it is about yourself, about people or about relationships in general, the fact of the matter is that you grew from the experience. With this in mind, you will be able to take something more to your next relationship, which more than likely increases your chance of success.
3. You don’t have to do this alone
Many persons, once dumped, will become reclusive. They will retreat into their caves where they can mourn in silence their loss. But the truth of the matter is that it doesn’t have to be so. It is okay to cry, break something, but there needs to be a healthy way for you to channel all your feelings because if you do leave them bottled up, you’re not hurting your ex, you’re the only one getting hurt.
4. Live amicably with your ex
Whether or not you want to admit it, after a split you and your ex won’t just separate just so. Your lives fortunately or unfortunately are still intertwined. You still have mutual friends who should not be forced to choose a side or you may both have a child together and so it is important that the child sees a united front at all times. Whatever you have to do, deal with your emotions, say what needs to be said, and then find some way of moving forward in a positive direction.
5. Even if they never say it, they miss you too
No matter how acrimonious the break-up was, feelings don’t just disappear overnight. If enough time and effort was invested into a relationship, that will be evident on the side of both parties. Don’t think that because you are taking it more badly than they are, that means that you loved any more than they did. People grieve in different ways. So find some comfort in the fact that you did share something special.
