Condoms, garlic, beer bottles…
MEDICAL professionals don’t have the easiest jobs in the world, but sometimes their jobs get a little bit more complicated when patients indulge in odd behaviours and fetishes, then arrive at the clinic or hospital to have their problems dealt with. Like toddlers, many couples and individuals get objects stuck in their various body orifices, and then it’s off to the medics to get them fished out.
What are the strangest foreign objects local gynaecologists and other doctors have fished out of female and male patients? A gynaecologist and a general surgeon share:
1. Condoms/condom tips
According to the obstetrician-gynaecologist, these, as well as forgotten tampons, take the top spot. He said usually the woman isn’t aware that the condom or its tip was left inside her.
2. Garlic
This herb is said to have properties that can clear up a yeast infection, and on the suggestion of naturopaths in Internet forums, some women have tried inserting cloves inside them rather than visiting the doctor. Doctors have had to remove these from patients who couldn’t retrieve them themselves.
3. Cucumber
Shelly P said she once felt a sexual urge and decided to satisfy herself with a small cucumber which slipped from her hand and got stuck. While none of the doctors we spoke to could say they’ve seen such a case, Shelly said she was rushed to the operating theatre where it was removed.
4. Toothbrush
One of the doctors said he had a patient come in and explain that she was using the toothbrush to scratch something when the handle broke. “It seems like she was using it to masturbate and then it went into the wrong hole, broke off, and went into her bladder,” he said.
5. Beer bottle
One of the doctors said a male patient admitted to having an orgy, falling asleep, and then some women ‘assaulted’ him with a beer bottle. “He said he was so tired from having sex with all five of them he never felt it,” the surgeon said.
6. Light bulb
“I never actually saw this one, but I was told about it,” the surgeon added.
7. Round toothbrush holders
The surgeon said the patient explained that it was upright, he fell on it, and it got stuck.
8. Shampoo bottle
According to one doctor, like the toothbrush holder, this patient also attributed the stuck object to falling on the shampoo bottle.
9. Vibrator
“A man had a vibrator stuck up his rear and was informed that he was going to be taken to the theatre to have it removed, but he said no, he only wanted them [doctors] to change the batteries,” the surgeon said.
