Romance novel delusions
MOST romance novels come with similar templates — girl meets tall, dark and handsome boy; girl rejects boy; girl accepts boy and a steamy romance ensues; something happens to break the bond; then they reunite and live happily together forever.
Depending on what category you choose, these novels often also include some scenes that make the readers weak in the knees, and longing for the kind of passion that is etched in the printed pages. And many women go for much of their lives searching for similar feelings, and expecting every potential mate to be that Romeo of Harlequin fame.
But what happens when these endeavours fail? Below readers recount the moments they tried to re-enact scenes from romance novels, and how they all went terribly wrong.
Melanie R:
I thought I was cute, and threw a fit during dinner, expecting my boyfriend to chase behind me as I ran up the stairs sobbing, because he had criticised my stewed peas. I flung myself down on the bed, crying, but instead of coming to rub my back and reassure me that everything was OK, he came up, started to chuckle, and with phone recorder in hand taping me, he said he couldn’t help it, but I really sounded like Daffy Duck when I cried.
Sandra P:
My guy was returning from a two-year fellowship overseas, and we were longing to be in each other’s arms again. I was picking him up at the airport, and when he emerged from immigration, I don’t know what got into me, but like the delicate nymphets do in romance novels, I started running towards him, and jumped in his arms. Several things were wrong with that picture (and dozens of eyes were on hand to witness). Number one, I had plumped up while he had slimmed down so lifting me was no longer a breeze. Number two, he was lugging several pieces of baggage. And number three, he was unprepared. So naturally, I flew up and we both went down, hitting concrete, and security asked us to quickly disperse.
Julia M:
I have a big mouth, I admit, and I won’t back down from a fight. One day my ex and I were going to buy something in a plaza in Cross Roads, and we found a parking spot in front of a store. We got some items, and I returned to the car because I had left my phone, and while walking some men outside the store directly in front of my car asked me to come take a look at their merchandise. I said no, but they kept insisting, and when I kept refusing, they said I couldn’t park where I parked then. My exact words, ‘Come move me if you think yuh bad.’ We exchanged heated words, and I basically told them that my man would deal with them. When my knight, my rescuer, returned from the store, I told him the problem, expecting him to fight for my honour. Instead he asked if I was mad, and said he didn’t want to get beat up. Turns out I had misjudged the ‘rescuer’ aspect of our relationship.
Michelle P:
My now husband was always a gym buff, he would spend hours bulking up, and in addition to that his car playlist is all thug rap and dancehall. So naturally, when we first started dating I felt safe around him, as he was physically strong and was always available to help when I needed it. He was the perfect representation of what I had always imagined in a guy — loving, protective, with a rough exterior and a soft heart. A few months into the relationship he was at my house. I was watching Lifetime and he was on the laptop. At one point in the movie I glanced at him, only to see tears running down his face. Like me, he had got engrossed in the movie about a mother trying to find her kidnapped child. Unlike me, who was just observing the many plot holes with a smirk, he had bought the movie hook, line and sinker, and my tough guy was there bawling like he had lost his own child.
