Do you have a healthy sex life?
CERTAINLY a relationship is more than sex, but what is undeniable is that it is a huge ingredient in the glue that binds a union together. While we all hope for a fairy-tale love life, it is not always the case, and many people are bound to unhealthy sexual relationships without realising.
“Sex health is synonymous with relationship health. It requires that the persons mutually respect each other and are committed to ensuring that they respect individual sexual boundaries. Anything outside of this can be characterised as unhealthy,” said sex therapist Dr Sydney McGill.
He said that care should be taken by couples to assess their sex health because in some instances one partner benefits from sex while the other suffers silently.
Dr McGill shared a few features of a healthy versus an unhealthy sex life.
A HEALTHY SEX LIFE
1. You like it
It doesn’t matter the outcome, whether you climax or not, if it’s dull or over the moon you enjoy it. It improves your mood and you enjoy the time that you spent with your partner.
2. You both have respect for sexual boundaries
He knows that you are only willing to go so far during sex and he respects your boundaries. Even though he wishes you explored other things sexually, he never pressures you into it.
3. He makes you feel comfortable
Sex becomes second nature and you are so connected with your partner that you feel free becoming intimate without a doubt in the back of your mind. You also are so empowered that you simply ask for what you want.
4. You know when to change things up
You are not interested in faking anything in the relationship and you and your partner are comfortable with changing things up. You are usually so connected with your partner that you know when a sexual position is no longer quite as exciting as it was before.
UNHEALTHY SEX LIFE
1. The sex benefits only one person
They are only concerned with their own sexual needs. For example, sex ends after he ejaculates or if she climaxes first she loses her enthusiasm and sometimes refuses to continue.
2. You have no choice
Regardless of whether you are in the mood, your partner feels as though you are obligated to giving in to their demands. They also initiate unprotected sex or proceeds to engage in sexual practices that you are uncomfortable with, without asking.
3. Sex lacks emotional intimacy
Sex is more about getting involved physically. There is no foreplay, there is no communication, and there is not much care about pleasuring your partner or connecting with them beyond your bodies moving against each other.
4. Sex is abusive and addictive
One partner always wants sex, in fact it is all that you ever do together and it happens all the time. They also like to get rough all the time, spanking and biting and choking, and all you end up is being hurt and dissatisfied while they sport a glow all the time.
5. You don’t know what they like
A crucial component to achieving sexual satisfaction for your partner and yourself is asking what they want. You can’t approach every relationship with the same script on how to please a lover when everybody is not wired in the same way.
