What it’s like being the other man
Very often we hear the stories of the side chick/side piece, but we never hear much about the side man, better known as the other man. It’s not that he is a mythical creature, but this man, unlike his female counterpart, has no need to be seen or made a public spectacle. Like a jack-in-the box, he only comes out when it’s time to play. Craig, 41:Philip, 28:
When I first met Kim, she told me that she was in an open relationship. I didn’t understand the concept of an open relationship, but I went along with it anyway. She and I clicked and immediately there was a spark.
We were together for nearly a year when she told me she was going to get married but didn’t want to lose what we had. To be honest, I was taken aback by her engagement and her willingness to now settle down with a man she had cheated on with me. I felt somewhat betrayed because I thought that I would have been next in line if things didn’t work out in their relationship. Marriage was totally different.
So, I told her that I could no longer be with her, but that didn’t stop her from pursuing me, and finally I gave in. She referred to him as her husband and I was her boyfriend — a boyfriend who she couldn’t be seen with in public.
As time went by I wanted more from her, more that I knew she could give, and this caused a lot of problems between us. I would go days without seeing her, and this ate me alive. I grew tired of this on and off relationship that wasn’t going anywhere and found myself a woman who is proud to call me her man.
I have had my share of side chicks, but never did I think that I would be a side man. I was 24 at the time and had just got my first job. I was working and sending myself to school. One night after class I was standing at the bus stop when a car pulled up, and in the car was a lady who offered me a ride home. I told her thanks, but no thanks. A few weeks later she did it again, and again I turned her down.
Then one night when the rain was pouring and no bus was in sight she offered me a lift again and this time I took it, and it became a regular thing for her to drop me home.
I enjoyed being with her. What man would not? My friends would tease me about her age — 43 —but that didn’t bother me at all, because I didn’t see her age when I was with her. I saw maturity and knowledge.
As time went by she would help me with my bills and other expenses though I never asked her to, and even though some may say she was paying me to be with her, I never saw it like that. I really did like her but I knew my position and never once overstepped my boundaries.
We are no longer together, but we do occasionally meet up from time to time. She taught me a lot and has made me become attracted to older women. My current girlfriend is 38, and no, I’m not her side man.
