Acts of betrayal that are worse than cheating

IT’S usually hard to recover from a relationship plagued with infidelity, as most romantics see it as the worst sin you can commit in a relationship.

However, there are some misdeeds that are worse than cheating and may leave people emotionally scarred.

Below, Denecia Green, author of Lies, Sex and Betrayal, shares acts of betrayal that even surpass cheating.

1. Knowingly putting your partner at risk

Green said to be cheated on is one of the hardest things that women have to deal with in a relationship, and as a result they have implemented various strategies to protect themselves from the possible hurt, if they should ever experience this harsh reality. “Cheating is one thing, but to cheat on your spouse and jeopardise their health or put them at risk in any way, is more hurtful than cheating. For example, if a man cheats on his woman, contracts a sexually transmitted infection, then knowingly transmits this to his partner; this is one of the worst forms of betrayal. No matter what the circumstance, a man should always think about how best he can keep his partner out of harm’s way,” Green said. She added that such behaviour is a selfish and thoughtless act, especially if he refuses to let his partner know he did something wrong or makes no attempt to use precautionary measures to protect her.

2. Giving your side chick your spouse’s personal information

“Another cause for concern is when a man cheats and allows the other woman to be in possession of personal information about his spouse that may put her at risk in the long run,” said Green. “There are times when the other woman terrorises the wife, makes threats, or does everything possible to end the relationship, all because the man may have revealed too much to her or carelessly left important information open.”

3. Your partner cuts you off from all your friends and family and manipulates your life

According to Green, there is nothing worse than having your partner manipulate your life. She said it is bad enough that you may have to sacrifice your friends and family, whom he probably wasn’t fond of, in order to make him happy, but to be constantly monitored and be told what to do, how to do it, or when to do it, is worse than cheating. “[The woman then] begins to lose self-esteem and may even feel useless because she doesn’t control anything. She is made to feel less of a woman, and no one wants to be treated that way,” she explained.

4. Withholding information that may be vital to the prosperity of the relationship

Green said refusing to let your significant other know future plans that may hinder or propel the relationship is selfish. For example, she said plans for children or for not having children is a common topic that couples often wrestle with. “A woman may be doing everything she can to conceive but just hasn’t been successful. She identifies her ovulation phase, visits the doctor and even self-medicates with herbs, just to give her spouse a child. Her spouse, on the other hand, knows he doesn’t want to have children or he may be unable to have children, as well as it may be that he wants children but doesn’t want his partner to be the mother, yet he never lets her know this. Withholding such information is an act of selfishness and deceit.”

5. Being ripped off financially

While a relationship encompasses financially supporting each other, it is important to establish boundaries. Sometimes your partner may take advantage of your finances and if you are not careful, you may encounter financial difficulties. Cheating usually says “I am bored and want to experiment with new things with the hope of not being caught” but ripping your partner off financially says, “I am willing to compromise your long-term well-being to better my own”.

6. Physically abusing your partner

“This action really needs no explanation. This is definitely worse than cheating,” Green said.

7. Lying to your partner

Green said people dramatically underestimate the importance of brutal honesty in relationships, which interferes with trust and has the potential to totally diminish the bond of intimacy that might have been created. “Imagine being lied to constantly for months or years about a situation, then you discover the truth. It would hurt more than finding out he cheated on you. To be lied to perpetually results in a breach of trust, and once a trust issue arises it will be much harder for you to solidify that bond between you and your partner,” Green said.

— Kimberley Hibbert