Need a man? How to get Mr Right in 2016
WHEN it comes to failed relationships, many women often reflect and wonder what they could have done differently. And instead of being proactive, they usually sit and mull over spilt milk.
However, instead of beating yourself up, revisiting the drawing board is always an option, and never too late.
You may have had your fair share of mediocrity from men this past year, and you’re probably wondering if Mr Right is just another figment of your imagination. But, according to relationship expert Wayne Powell, he is not. However, before entering 2016, it is important to take stock of what existed in your failed relationships before taking steps to secure the person of your dreams.
“Like the prudent businessman or woman, the end of the year is always a good time to take stock. It is from this exercise that the businessman/woman makes certain management decisions,” Powell said.
“A relationship would also benefit from a similar year-end exercise.”
According to Powell, you would need to first ask yourself what goods you have in stock, if they are in adequate quantities, if you are satisfied with the returns, if you should increase the quantities of the inventory, or if you should consider discontinuing the use of the goods and replace them with others.
Moreover, he said, after the stocktaking exercise is done, it is important to confidently take the steps to finding and keeping Mr or Mrs Right in your life. Below he explains some ways to do so.
1. Avoid rebound relationships
Powell said if you are just coming out of a failed relationship and you are going through the grieving process, it’s recommended that you spend some time to bring closure to that relationship before starting a new one. “Remember, during this time you are very vulnerable and not in a strong emotional state to make a rational decision,” he said.
2. As John Legend says, ‘Take it slow’
The relationship expert said you should set the pace at which the relationship should go. “Don’t let him pressure you into doing anything you are not ready to do. Don’t worry about losing the person. If he really cares about you, he will stick around and wait,” Powell said.
3. Do background checks
“Find out as much as you can about the individual. Talk to their friends and family members who can vouch for their honesty and capacity to commit to the relationship. Find out how they relate to their parents and other members of their family.”
4. Find out why they broke off the last relationship
To do this, Powell suggests using the 4Ws, 1H approach. “Ask yourself who was their last partner, when was the break-up, what happened, why did it happen, and how the termination was done.”
5. Move beyond physical appearance
Powell said it is important not to get caught up with the physical attributes of the gentleman or woman, but check out their personality traits. “Are they caring, ambitious, selfish? Are they short-tempered? Do they possess a healthy sense of humour? Are they abusive, lazy, possessive or jealous?”
6. Play hard to get
“Don’t appear desperate. Don’t always be available. Turn down a date every now and again. Ignore the telephone calls occasionally,” Powell said. He added that you must use the opportunity to assess the kind of message (if any) he will leave on your voicemail.
7. Don’t compare him with your ex
Powell advised that you enter each relationship with a new and fresh approach. “If you carry remnants of the old into the new, this will be a recipe for disaster,” he explained.
8. Delay sex as long as you can
Don’t do anything you would regret if the relationship was to last for only a month. “In other words, don’t give your body to this man until you are quite sure you are ready to take the relationship to the next level,” Powell said.
