The men to send packing this year-end

WHEN you’re emotionally tied to someone, it is difficult to break the yoke of bondage and move on, and the same goes for when you have a habitual attraction to bad people in your life.

Just like getting baptised and doing away with the old life, 2016 should be the year for the kind of baptism which involves dumping the man in your life who’s causing you nothing but strife. You may have been taught to love men who are tall, dark and handsome, drive flashy cars, have top jobs and can maintain you, without being told to look for the little things that will determine if the union will be a happy one.

So stepping into 2016 it’s time for change. And first you should start by eliminating the few men who need not tag along. Below Denecia Green, author of Lies Sex and Betrayal gives some hints.

1. Men who’ve hurt you repeatedly

According to Green, every relationship at some point results in you being hurt by your partner, but when it’s done repeatedly it is cause to move on. “People hurt other people, it’s just the way the world works. But if you have someone in your life who can’t manage to stop hurting you, someone who is so preoccupied with their well-being that they fail to realise that they are even causing you pain, makes no attempt to do things differently or fails to apologise on every occasion, do yourself a favour and cut that person off,” Green said.

2. Men who make you stressful

“Time waits on no man, therefore everything in life is limited. There is limited space, resources and time to achieve your dreams. This is why you have to be careful about not only what you choose to do but with whom you choose to do it,” Green said. She explained that sometimes women may have a great deal going for them but manage to welcome men who are not willing to add any value to their lives. “Life is already stressful as it is, you don’t need someone making it more so. Leave these people behind in 2015 and build a better inner circle.”

3. Egotistical men

Green said men who are overly conceited and believe they are the best things on earth or the best things to have ever happened to you are people you need to leave behind. “Surround yourself with kind and humble people as you step into your new year and a new chapter of your life. Don’t let ego get in the way of your happiness,” she said.

4. Men who run at the sight of sorrow

Your partner should love being with you no matter what — through thick and thin. “If you are going through a rough patch in life and your partner claims he loves you but fails to empathise with you or tries to help you overcome that dark phase, but instead opts to end the relationship at the first sight of sorrow, leave that person behind. A man who is unable to show up for you in your weakest moment is not one that loves you unconditionally,” she pointed out.

5. Men who want to change you

“Free yourself from men who try to change your personality or physical appearance to better suit their idea of having the ideal woman. Develop relationships with men who love you the way you are, who enhance you, who empower you, who push you in the direction to success without changing a thing about you,” Green said.

6. Men who lie for no apparent reason

Green said honesty is a brutal part of every relationship. She also pointed out that if you are involved with a man who lies to you no matter how simple the situation is, that is someone you need to remove from your life. “Even if he may not lie to you as much but lies to other people repetitively, those lies may travel and eventually come to you. Free yourself from men who may bring this negative energy and surround yourself with someone who actually cares about you enough to not lie to you as much, if any at all,” Green said.

7. Men who refuse to let go of their exes

According to Green, there are men who remain close friends with their exes. While there is nothing wrong with maintaining contact with someone you were once intimate with, there are levels to it. “If your man is the type to have continuous sexual conversations with his ex, checks up on her every chance he gets, if he is concerned about her every move, that is unquestionably unhealthy,” Green said.

In these instances, you will always have the ex to compete with because he is not over her.