Why going back to your ex may not be a good new-year decision
EXES are often described as baggage – they weigh you down and steal your happiness. But even knowing this, many people still pine for their exes, especially if the relationship was long-term, or had made them feel better or more appreciated than they ever had before.
But pining over and even getting back together with your ex may be counterproductive. While many people have been there, done that, and it has worked for them, sex therapist Dr Sidney McGill said while reconciliation is always a great opportunity to grow up if you are willing to see your hurts as growth points, getting back into a relationship that was taxing mentally, physically and emotionally could spell doom for you and ruin a potentially great year.
Below he shares some reasons why taking back your ex in the new year could be a bad idea:
1. You had a good reason for letting go
You were not being petty, you didn’t decide to break up because he doesn’t have the same bathroom habits as you or because you have different hobbies. In fact, it seems that all you did was keep forgiving and dealing with his mess. Having finally pulled the plug, you may want to run fast the opposite way.
2. You will be forced to make compromises
You’d be sacrificing yourself once more, offering your heart and giving everything of yourself. That could mean that you end up getting hurt again. Also, in making compromises, you may sell yourself short because you want the relationship to work.
3. Second time might not be a charm
You must ask yourself what guarantee there is that things will not play out the same way a second time.
4. More doubts about your relationship
Often when people fail at doing something right the first time around, uncertainty builds up the second time they do it simply because they know it is quite possible that they will fail.
5. Have you really forgiven?
You want to move on and you have done everything to try to forget about the mistakes of your relationship, but it has been difficult. While you still love him, being around him could be a constant reminder of how much he hurt you.
