From puppy love to responsible adult
As economists say, men’s wants are unlimited; they are always exploring new things. And sometimes after a man has been fully satisfied with a good or service, his desire for it decreases and he seeks new avenues for satisfaction.
This can also happen in committed relationships which began as puppy love in the teenage years. How do you keep a relationship strong that you’ve been in all your life?
Dr Sandra Palmer, chief dream builder at Peak Performance International, says partners have to plan how to keep their other halves engaged, and have to want a lifetime experience.
Growing in love, she says, is a hard task.
“I’ll start by stating what Corinthians 13:1 states, ‘When you are a child you speak as a child, but when you become a man or woman you put away childish things.’ Likewise, in cases of couples who started with puppy love in high school, when you are a teenager you are not fully developed, your decisions would reflect childish acts filled with wow and obsession,” Dr Palmer said.
“As you transition into a more mature love, it is much deeper than what I call the superficial biological attraction. We start to look at more common values such as, ‘Who is this person?’ We then have to go to the table with values and you lead with that to identify compatibility. That is how I believe you can grow from being in puppy love to responsible adults.”
She explained that to transition properly, you both have to teach yourselves how to love each other.
“The person you felt physically attracted to at age 15 changes as they grow older. You and your high school sweetheart have to transition into having qualities of a good wife/husband or good mother/father. Unfortunately, the hottest person on the football team and the hottest cheerleader whom you may have chosen to marry may not be the best person to mother or father your children. And you will learn this after marriage.
“However, as we grow older, we either learn to want to spend time with people who make us feel good about ourselves, or we act as responsible adults and grow in love.”
Dr Palmer said you also have to become mindful of how to love in different ways.
“It’s not the excitement about young love anymore when you become adults. It’s the comfort and safety of a mature love,” she said.
