Marriage success
AS marriages become fewer, the divorce rates become higher, but some couples have managed to keep their union strong for decades.
Some may say the way to avoid divorce is not to leave and everything will fall into place, making the success of this honourable institution seem like a walk in the park. But is it that simple?
Below couples who’ve been married for a long time share their views on the success of marriage with All Woman.
Milton and Hopelyn Mullings, married 25 years:
It is not as simple as not leaving because you have some people who do not leave their marriage and they are extremely unhappy. Success in marriage is not being selfish, but trying to please your partner as best as possible in every way. Also, allowing God to be the centre of your marriage as you both work diligently to ensure a happy and lasting marriage.
Ledel and Nursella Lawrence, married 38 years:
If you stay in a marriage thinking things will fall into place it might just get worse. Success depends on how much you communicate, the sort of relationship you have, how well you can talk things over, and if your partner hurts you. It’s being able to say I’m sorry, forgiving your partner and moving on. Forgiveness is the key and once you can admit to your faults and move on from there, you’re good. Also, never forget to speak to each other and laugh. Laughter is good and when you can laugh at yourself, laugh together, and laugh at each other – you find that it mends a lot and creates a deeper bond.
Agatha and Glenroy Thompson, married 25 years:
It is a lot of hard work. With marriage you have to be determined to make it work. It requires a lot of prayer, commitment, compromise and love. Also, try not to dwell on the negatives but think of the good times you have together. Many people walk away from marriage because they are not prepared to put in the hard work. When you can raise a family, acquire a home together and pull together and make things work, it is rewarding. Always remember that God comes first and it doesn’t happen overnight. Trust God and watch Him work things out.
Andrew and Rachel Nembhard, married 28 years:
It requires serious commitment on both sides. It involves a lot of give and take, listening, being slow to anger, and patience. You also have to be certain of what you want and have similar values and attitudes. You must care about the person and not just about the physical or financial gain. It also entails growing to love the person each day. Love at first sight is often a fairy tale; it’s not impossible, but it’s not common. So you have to take all of those into consideration.
Cossett and Ronald Grey, married 25 years:
The success of one’s marriage is not dependent on one staying or leaving the matrimonial home. Sometimes divorce has already taken place in the person’s heart, so it would be totally impossible for the marriage to be repaired. Certainly, everything will not fall into place if one stays. Marriage is like a plant, it needs food, water and nurturing for that plant to grow, so couples have to nurture their marriage. There is no, and I stress this, no perfect marriage under the sun. It’s two imperfect people coming together, loving each other, making a commitment to be faithful to each other, and willing to forgive each other when both parties fail. The key to the success of any marriage is love, love, love.
