It’s over: The moment I knew
USUALLY when we assess failed relationships we can deduce a few things which include the moment we knew it wasn’t going to last longer than the flame of a match.
We may even say to ourselves that all the signs and signals were there, but because of our hard nosed and determined attitudes to “make it work”, we carried on, only to end up on a one way train to Splitsville.
All Woman sought to ascertain from some of our readers at what point they realised their relationships weren’t going to work and would be over in no time.
Robert B:
I knew when she became abusive. I was taught never to hit a woman and also never to take a beating from a woman. We started having frequent arguments and she would say some very hurtful things and one day she slapped me in my face. I held her hands and calmed her down. Eventually I let it go thinking she was just very upset, until another occasion when she threw a pot at me. Right there I said to myself that this girl is on a mission and I will not be her first homicide.
Simone W:
I knew it was over the first time he cheated on me. I was raised by a single mother as a result of divorce. One thing she taught my brother and me was that we should never, ever take the matter of cheating lightly. Our dad cheated on her, even he himself told us not to trust a man who cheats. So once I found out my boyfriend cheated, even if a counsellor could fix it, it was embedded in me to just leave.
Marlon I:
Obsessiveness was the breaking point. We were on a date and she started asking me about some of my friends on social media — even people I hadn’t seen or heard from in ages, including exes who had moved on with their lives but would say hello now and then. Then she started asking me about my family and she said she had eyes and ears everywhere and knew where I was at every point of the day. I thought it was cute at first until she told me three places I had been the previous week when she was out of town. How did she know? Right there I knew there wasn’t going to be a forever.
Katherine K:
My girlfriends and I were having a night out and each of us shared the things we liked about our other halves. I struggled to come up with something unique other than having him assist with the bills. When my friends spoke of how caring and nurturing their husbands or boyfriends were, how one looked after her when she was sick and kept the home together, how another rallied around her while she was doing her thesis, how they operate like a unit, working together, arguments aren’t common, issues are resolved before going to bed and they aren’t afraid to show affection publicly, that’s when I knew it was time to move on and be happy instead of taking the insults when something didn’t happen according to my boyfriend’s liking or constantly looking over my shoulder because he was so flirtatious.
Renee L:
When the lies and cheating occurred, all I wanted when things got tough was the truth and he couldn’t give me that. Instead, he kept skirting around the issue and acting like nothing was wrong and I was overreacting. It wasn’t until I walked up on him with another girl that he couldn’t lie anymore and there was no reconciliation. I just got my stuff, gave him his, and went about my way.
— KH
