When he/she would rather watch porn
THEY say the marriage bed is undefiled, but though many couples understand and work with this, some things become just too much for them.
One such thing is having a partner who is obsessed with pornography, to the point where they would rather watch porn than be with you.
Relationship counsellor Wayne Powell said researchers attribute online sexual activities (OSA) to the triple-A- engine phenomenon, which are accessibility, affordability and anonymity.
“Accessibility is when almost everyone owns a smart phone and has access to the Internet and so can locate and browse an adult site by a simple tap on the screen. Affordability is the ability to access some of these sites where there is no charge, and so persons can freely entertain themselves with zero cover charge. Anonymity is that many people who engage in OSA do so because their identity will not be disclosed and so they proceed with wild abandonment,” Powell said.
He said studies have indicated that men are more interested in the more visually oriented OSA, for example, adult pictures and movies, while women gravitate to the more interactive OSA, for example, online dating, chatting, and discussion forums.
But the relationship counsellor said the challenge in relationships comes about when one or both partners are preoccupied with the online activities than they are with the offline happenings.
“If one partner neglects his/her partner and is engrossed with the images or the non-verbal communication on the screen, then there will be relational problems that may become conflictual,” he said.
“One partner may feel rejected and even be offended by the competition they would have received from the online images or the interaction.”
He said one partner may have viewed or participated in OSA and would want to transfer the activities to the relationship, which may not be well received by the other partner.
On the other hand, he said others may be more receptive, and so the OSA may be used as a teaching or learning tool that may enhance the sexual relationship.
“It is important that both partners work hard at keeping each other focused on the offline sexual activities so that the other partner is not distracted or detained by the online sexual activities. This is even more essential with the triple-A- engine in effect,” Powell said.
