It’s over – The moment I knew
CAPTURING the exact moment that signifies the end of your relationship can be difficult. In fact, many couples only discover the moment months, sometimes even years after they decide that the good no longer outweighs the bad and they simply don’t want to fight for something they no longer want.
Below All Woman readers share raw, unvarnished tales of the moment they knew their relationship was doomed.
Chin:
There were many challenges in my relationship, but there was one thing that bothered me most. I no longer felt the love. I had tried to recreate the atmosphere of our young love, because at the time he was treating me worse than I had bargained for. But one day I stopped fighting, I stopped trying to fix him. I realised that nobody would ever love me better than how I love and value myself.
Ariesha:
The lies were too much. One day my cup was full, and I was done.
Debbie:
I knew it was over when I found myself at a place in the relationship that I didn’t like. I was uneasy. I was unprotected and unsupported, and I didn’t like feeling exposed.
Marsha:
I tried to convince myself that I wanted to work things out but I couldn’t because I couldn’t trust him anymore. There was no sense in wasting my time or his when I was incapable of ever trusting him again.
Kim:
He was unappreciative, unsupportive, deceiving, conniving, abusive, and a drunk. For 12 years I lived this life. I exposed my children to it and I stayed because I thought he could change and yes, I thought I still loved him. One day my daughter asked me, ‘Mommy, why does daddy hate you so much?’ I didn’t need anything else, because if my baby could see it, then why couldn’t I?
Kayana:
When he cheated I knew there was no way I could go back.
Monique:
I just couldn’t take another lie. I’d had enough of lies and deception.
Tenore:
I had thought about what he would think of something before I said it. Did it seem too flirty? Were my words too friendly? It is the same way I thought about the clothes I would buy. Everything I did was about him; the way it would make him look, feel or react. But one day when I looked in the mirror I didn’t see Tenore anymore, I saw him. I no longer recognised myself. I looked at how brilliant I was, and I saw how successful those my age were, and I wanted to find me. That was only possible if I no longer lived in his shadow, so I had to leave.