Most important parenting lessons I’ve learnt
IN the land of parenting there are two universal truths — even with the insight of family and friends you will all end up mothering your children differently, and you won’t always have the answers. In fact, many experts will tell you that the best mothers are those who are stitched together with lessons they learnt having admitted and corrected their mistakes.
This week, mothers share what they value as the most important parenting lessons they have learnt since their journey started.
Kaylor:
I have learnt that I must consider these four core values: correction, instruction, discipline and encouragement, in guiding my children. I also learnt that it is important to take on an authoritative persona, drawing strength from biblical guidance like Proverbs 22:6, ‘Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it’.
Krishnae:
One of the most important lessons I’ve learnt being a mother is that my son’s needs always come before mine. It was the easiest but most valuable one learnt as the love that came naturally at birth gave me no other choice. The ability to understand my son as he grows and to appreciate all the stages he has to go through, and cognisant that I, too, traversed those stages, also forms part of the catalogue of my most important lessons.
Sabina:
The most important lesson I have learnt so far is that my child comes first at all times. His needs and wants are placed above all others no matter what. My life doesn’t belong to me anymore because he is now my life’s responsibility. Another thing I have learnt is the value of ‘love’ and its meaning. There is no greater love than a mother’s love. If my child hurts, I hurt too, and if he is in pain, then I would be too. Self-evaluation is another thing. I value myself and my actions more being a mother, but more importantly, being a responsible mother. I think before I act, I think about how my actions affect my child before acting, and I always want to be someone my son can emulate.
Shanniese:
I learnt to be patient, because of course, there will be times when they are fussy but you have to try to understand. My daughter taught me the importance of mastering flexibility, and to multitask, which has made it easier for me now to earn while still fulfilling all her needs. Another really important one is being able to say no. There are times that the child will want something and you shouldn’t give them all the time, you just have to stand your ground, because when they aren’t used to hearing no, that’s how the meltdowns come in. Another important thing that I learnt as a mom is that comparing your child is not good because every child develops at their own pace. Above all, it’s important to let your child know that he/she is loved. My daughter may not understand this yet, but I kiss her every day.
Tina:
Parenting is difficult; there are no two ways about it. You have to realise that it is the most important job and you have to be as serious and as firm about it as you are about the job that you are being paid to do. Children need time and patience and you will always have to aim to make sacrifices for them; to take time out to understand them, because they deserve your undivided attention. This is especially important because children are curious and they act fast, so you simply have to always have your eyes on them.
Jessica:
It’s not easy raising a child; it is a difficult, demanding task. With my son, I make sure to show him love, but I don’t spoil him. I make sure that I am always in his life. We share information that is beneficial to both of us, so by doing that there is a bond. Last, but not least, I set rules. He knows he is expected to follow them. I believe firmly in the saying, ‘Train up a child in the way he/she should go…’
