Men: Saying ‘I love you’ matters
HAVE you ever been in a relationship with a man who has never told you he loves you? If yes, you’re not alone. There are many women who would give anything to hear their men say the three magic words, but for some reason, men seem to find it very difficult to utter those words.
Some people will say word is wind, and that it doesn’t matter if he says it as long as he shows you with actions. Not true. Actions do speak louder than words, but if you truly love her and want to make your woman happy, tell her you love her and observe the remarkable change in her demeanour.
Here are some of the reasons a man holds back on telling his woman he loves her.
Background
Depending on how he was brought up, a man might find it very difficult to verbally express his love to you. If he grew up in an environment where nobody verbalised love, and he’s probably never heard his father tell his mother ‘I love you’ or never had anyone say ‘I love you’ to him or others around him, he is likely to find it difficult to tell someone he loves them.
Negative past experiences
Men do not say these words easily and often. If a man has loved, expressed it verbally, and ended up being burnt, he will find it extremely difficult to open up like that again. He feels it will make him vulnerable, so he puts up a shield. But not saying the words doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. In these situations, he might show you love, a lot of love, but he’s just not comfortable verbalising it.
It will make him look soft
This is not strange. A lot of men think that saying ‘I love you’ reduces their masculinity, that toughness they need to demonstrate as a man. Well, here’s news for you: that’s your boys misleading you because they, too, are afraid to tell their women. Your woman doesn’t see you as being soft for telling her you love her. She sees you as being soft if you fail to protect her. Saying ‘I love you’ elevates you in her eyes because you are brave enough to let her into your heart.
Fear you won’t say it back
Nobody wants to say those three powerful words and not have the other person reciprocate. Fear of rejection is one of the biggest reasons a lot of men do not say the words to their women, especially if the relationship is still young. If you’re with a man who demonstrates his love through his actions, you might need to help him overcome his fear of actually saying the words. Reassure him by showing him respect, let him know in no uncertain way that he is THE MAN, and tell him what he means to you. Sometimes he is waiting for you to say it first. Once he is sure he means this much to you, and that he can TRUST you with his heart, he will find it easier to say the words you want to hear.
He’s just not ready
Saying ‘I love you’ can be a big step for a man. While there are men who are real ginnals who will tell a woman ‘I love you’ because he wants to get you into bed, there are genuine men who do not take this lightly. So if he isn’t ready to give you that emotional commitment, he will not say it. He wants to mean it when he says it, so don’t push. Enjoy the relationship and appreciate the other ways he demonstrates his love. He will tell you when the time is right.
He doesn’t love you
There are many men (and women) who have settled in relationships. They have a woman who takes care of them in every way, their basic needs are being met so they are comfortable, but just not in love. Although he has no plans to leave, he won’t tell his woman ‘I love you’, because he simply doesn’t love her. He’s comfortable, and to him that’s all that matters.
What men need to keep in mind is that women are moved by what they hear. So whereas you might do a lot to show her you love her, she still wants to hear it. Saying ‘I love you’ matters.
Marie Berbick is a communications specialist, motivational speaker and founder of the women’s ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment & Restoration (SUPHER). Keep up with her on marieberbick.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Twitter @thePR Girl. E-mail marieberbick@gmail.com.
