What do you bring to a relationship?
Every so often you will hear people run down their list of what they want in the perfect mate, and nine out of ten times their list is far from realistic. And to top it off they make no mention of what it is that they bring to the relationship table.
What skills should you bring to the table?
• Think about your lengthy list and then think about how many of these qualities you hold under your belt. It makes no sense to say you want an ambitious partner when you yourself are far from the ambition tree.
• Know who you are. Try and figure out what your best qualities are and work on them. Let your potential mate see what separates you from all the other stars in the sky.
• Practise what you preach. What’s the point of saying you want someone who knows what they want out of life, when at 40 you still haven’t found your own career path? It makes no sense to say how much you want a person who is God-fearing and has a close relationship with God, when you haven’t been to church since 2008 and every other word out of your mouth is a swear word.
• Don’t be desperate for love. You don’t even have to say a word. Desperation is a stench that can be smelt from miles away. Nobody is going to even want to walk near your table out of a fear of them being kidnapped by you. So even with a prize-winning personality, you might be losing out on a good mate because you’re just too desperate.
• Stop acting all perfect and self-righteous. It’s all good to know what you want in a relationship and that you have all your ducks in a row, but there is no need to go overboard with it like you’re some mythical god that was placed on earth and now you are having a hard time blending in with mere mortals who are beneath you.
• Be open to rejection and be mindful of the fact that you might be the ideal mate for one person and the complete opposite to another. This doesn’t mean that you should change who you are to meet anyone’s standard of perfection; you just have to understand that you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea.
• Understand the purpose of the table and know why it is important to the relationship. If you turn up to a table and have nothing to display but a pretty face and body, then what’s the point of turning up? No one has time to waste on a confused/delusional person.
• Be honest with who you are, what you want and what you have to offer.
