Can interfaith relationships work?
INTERFAITH marriages are typically defined as a marriage between a Christian and a non-Christian, but within the sects of Christianity, some people see inter-denominational marriages as being interfaith.
As such there have been many debates as to whether or not this was part of Paul’s address to the Corinthians on being unequally yoked with unbelievers, so much so that some churches oppose the idea of inter-denominational marriages.
But marriage/family and sex therapist Reverend Dr Carla Dunbar told All Woman that such reasoning is flawed as Paul was speaking about non-believers — people who don’t believe in Christ.
“He wasn’t talking about somebody from a Church of God talking to somebody else like from the Baptist. He was speaking to the Christians in Corinth about non-believers. We believe the same things. Our statement of faith might be a little bit different, but there’s no big difference,” she explained.
But with regards to Sabbath keepers, Sunday worshippers and Jehovah’s Witnesses, Dr Dunbar said she usually cautions such persons during her counselling sessions.
“For Jehovah’s Witnesses I don’t think they are allowed to get married outside of their faith, but they are still within the Christian faith. Sabbath keepers and Sunday worshippers may have an issue. So when I’m counselling persons, there are those Sunday worshippers who want to marry Sabbath keepers and I have to caution them.
“I’ve seen persons of different denominations get married and it’s OK. But in this regard I’ve seen where it works and I’ve also seen where it also causes problems because Sabbath worshippers are very strict on their views of what to do on a Saturday and what not to do. I’ve had personal experiences with that in my family and know it can really pose a challenge,” she said, adding that if these people get proper counselling prior to marriage, they can make it work.
She said as it relates to making interfaith relationships work, it boils down to compromise and support.
“Support each other. You can marry and support each other. I would suggest that if you can go with your spouse to their faith or place of worship, then you go,” she said. “Also when you chose to marry the person, you chose to understand that the person was of a different denominational persuasion and might not believe everything you believe.”
Dr Dunbar added: “The truth is when you have a husband and a wife worshipping together in one common denomination it makes for great harmony in the relationship because two persons are agreeing on most things, especially where their faith is concerned. It is not to say that they are living more harmoniously than other persons, because everybody has challenges in their relationships. It’s just to say they can work a little bit better.”
She also said that it is important for both parties to respect each other’s differences.
“Don’t spend your marriage getting into arguments about religion. God comes first, family second, and the church third. That’s the hierarchy. Don’t allow church differences to create disharmony in your relationship,” she said.
—KIMBERLEY HIBBERT
