How to monitor your child’s activities online

LET’S face it: Facebook and all its other social media counterparts have replaced the outdoor playgrounds that many parents used to appreciate. And while cuts and bruises were among the major fears expressed by yesterday’s parents, today they dread the thought that their little ones will fall victim to various crimes such as cyberbullying and child molestation online.

But how do parents protect their children from these dangers? Clinical psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell said parents may have to reinvent themselves as they strive to protect their children against the numerous perils of social media, of which many are unaware.

“There are so many ways that children can access the Internet that it becomes increasingly difficult for parents to monitor their children. Even though young people are Internet-savvy and know the intricacies of the technology, what many do not know is the danger associated with it. Parents should take the time out to educate their children on the advantages and disadvantages of

Facebook and other social media,” Dr Bell said.

She pointed out that social media has created a major distraction for children, noting that while parents would love their children to have access to the Internet in their personal space, many children are negatively influenced by their peers and end up being exposed to more harm than good.

“It was once the wisest advice not to let children have access to computers in their rooms, but while that still holds, the various other access points make it difficult for parents to monitor children, so they need to know the dangers of what could seem harmless,” Dr Bell said.

Citing one of the most common trends among kids — the use of fake names — Dr Bell said that children should be helped to recognise that using fake names is a form of dishonesty and should not be practised.

“Not only is the use of fake names a form of dishonesty, but more often than not children will invariably post identifying information like their pictures to these accounts, sometimes to hide from parents or to portray the person they sell to the crowd. This they do also because they have a false sense of anonymity. But parents need to explain to them that a fake name on social media does not make them anonymous,” Dr Bell said.

Another of the social media horrors that Dr Bell said is on the increase is catfishing, a practice that is common among predators wherein social media users often pretend to be someone else, usually someone much younger, to gain the trust of unsuspecting victims so that they can exploit them in various ways, especially sexually.

“In my practice I have seen young girls who unwittingly get involved in pornography with strangers they meet on the Internet. The perpetrator then exposes the unsuspecting child by posting the pictures on her

Facebook page. This can take a huge psychological toll on the child. The embarrassment that comes from such a situation has led some children to depression and other self-harming behaviours,” Dr Bell warned. “Therefore, parents need to let children know that what is placed onFacebook or other media can have long-term consequences, hindering them from entering college or getting a job, as many employers now utilise social media to do their background checks,” Dr Bell cautioned.

She said parents can avoid the associated consequences of improper, unguided or undersupervised social media use by educating their children on proper social media etiquette and responsible social media behaviour.

So:

• Parents should instil high moral values so that children do not feel compelled to do what is wrong.

• They also need to continue monitoring their children’s use of the Internet — ask them to share information with you and never stop restating the guidelines for using the Internet.

• Parents also need to maintain access to children’s online accounts and let them know that using fake names is ridiculous, as identifying information will come to the fore and expose them.

• Set limits/boundaries for the Internet and social media use. Again, explain to children why this is necessary.

• Parents should research and present the statistics to children about the dangers of the Internet — the number of predators online and pornographic sites that lure children to watch them.

• Parents should make children feel that they are their allies and that they should use wisdom when navigating the Internet and social media. Dr Bell said that while parents may not be able to control their use of social media all the time, the information they share coupled with guidelines and related social media etiquette should make them smarter when navigating social media spaces.

“Let them not only be technologically savvy, but smart or wise to the dangers of using the various online media,” she urged.