Love: that unpredictable journey
MANY people believe in love at first sight, and that in order to love you must first fall into the emotion, live out the bliss, and do what Hans Christian Andersen taught us in fairy tales — live happily ever after.
But relationship expert Christopher Lai advises that love is an unpredictable journey.
“Sure, you will have the fairy-tale moments, but you will also go through some very trying times,” he said.
The Huffington Post and Thought Catalog contributor went on to add, “It’s easy for people to fool themselves into thinking they’re in love. For starters, they’re attracted to each other. Thereafter, they have deep, meaningful conversations about life, share jokes about everything, go out regularly and have a great time. So naturally, they develop a strong connection and they think they’re destined to spend the rest of their lives together. But love is way more complex than merely enjoying each other’s company.”
Moreover, Lai made it clear that love can get very messy, so you have to be absolutely sure that this person is the one who you are willing to face challenges with.
“Don’t limit love to physical attraction; you need to carefully think through everything. You have to decide if this is the person you want to go the extra mile with. In other words, you have to determine if you’re willing to do what it takes to show that you truly love your significant other.”
Lai pointed out that inevitably, you will get into an argument, and when it happens you have to be willing to listen to the other person’s concerns and find a way to resolve your problems.
“You have to readily make compromises to ensure that things work. You have to be patient, understanding, supportive, proactive… and the list goes on. Being in love requires unprecedented sacrifice, more than you can ever imagine, and you have to decide if this person is worth it before you make all kinds of commitments,” he said.
Apart from making personal decisions about love, Lai also noted that couples have to make collective decisions.
“Together, you have to make family decisions that will positively impact your day-to-day lives. You may have to determine what adjustments you’re going to have to make to ensure that both of you achieve your career goals. And, of course, you have to continuously make plans with each other to keep the sparks alive — whether it’s a relaxing outing to the beach, a romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant, or a night out on the town,” he said.
Lai stated: “Love is a life-changing experience and you have to fully understand what you’re getting yourself into before you decide to commit.
“And when you’ve hit rock bottom, or you’re scared, or lying on a bed fighting for your life… you will know that you made the right decision when the person you chose to give yourself to is right there by your side. And that in itself is a fairy tale.”
—Kimberley Hibbert
