Advice from the wise
KEEPING the passion alive after many years of being together, as many couples and relationship experts will tell you, can be very difficult, especially when you have grown on your significant other. But what is also true is that the longer you have been in a game, naturally, it’s the more experienced you will become.
This week, All Woman fielded relationship advice from a number of older readers for the younger folks. Here’s what they had to say:
Elsie, 42:
I’ve been with my husband for 24 years, since I was 18. Sex is still great for us because we know that just like the finances, the vacations, health and the welfare of our children, sex is just as important. We recognised that it did something very important for our relationship so we never starved each other of it; we didn’t use it to spite anyone as so many young kids these days do. We had fun in sex, we explored and we were comfortable talking about fantasies. We were comfortable with ourselves and that’s something you want in a relationship. So try some of these and you will be fine. There is never enough advice that you can get, but one thing is sure, get to know your partner that way with sex and you will never go wrong.
Marva, 47:
Next month, my husband and I will share 19 years of marriage and I would love to give my two cents on sex to young people, because we have made our own mistakes and it would be great if other people didn’t do this too. One is to never forget that sex is important so try to do it at least once weekly. Yes, you may be tired, but it is important. The second I would say is try to switch things up. Don’t go for the same old, same old all the time. You know, do things like dating just the same and remember that sex is not just physical.
Ken, 52:
I’ve been married 12 years. Kiss, kiss, and kiss some more. It is just as important as sex. You will not be able to be intimate every day like you imagined, but kissing keeps the intimacy alive. Phone sex works for us too. Before now, we wrote love notes and we gave each other sexual challenges. Games in a relationships are fun, and it keeps the thought of intimacy in the air. You should also try fun, new things all the time together in the bedroom and even outside, because being adventurous has always worked for us. One of my all-time favourites is make-up sex. There is no doubt about it, couples will fight, but don’t you ever go to bed angry with each other.
Alice, 50:
My mother always told me that communication was important to every aspect of a relationship, sex being no exception. My marriage is 15 years old, and I know that talking to your partner before, during, and after sex is key to a very vital and happy sex life. When we got married we were pretty inexperienced so we read literature, we watched tutorial videos, and even now we Google a lot! Now we could probably write a book, and that is why being comfortable with yourself and your partner is important in marriage. Flirt too, men and women both love that and it keeps your relationship fresh.
Donovan, 49:
I’ve been married 15 years. Get in the bedroom and do fun, weird and crazy things. Your partner is your muse and you must know that, be inspired. When you get there, there is no rush. Remember, foreplay is important, and women, and some men like me, like when time is spent on the body. Also, you want to think about doing new things, so just mix it up. Tell her some nice things when you’re having sex. Be spontaneous, think out of the box and surprise your partner. Also remember that you should check with your partner — ask them if they are okay with you doing something before you do it. Love each other and be true about it and you will be good.
— PENDA HONEYGHAN
