What brought you back from the brink of a break-up?
MOST of us have been there — to that place of uncertainty where we skip through memories and mentally play out situations with one single aim: to decide whether or not to make a clean break or to give the romantic offender a second chance, even while knowing they might hurt us again.
All Woman asked readers to share why they welcomed their cheating partners back with open arms instead of sending them packing. Here is what they had to say:
Shana:
Forgiveness. I was taught about God’s forgiveness. I know that I have made mistakes and God has pardoned me, and so I wanted to offer someone else the same courtesy.
Lorie:
For my status in the US. I had married out of love, but I found out some disturbing truths about my husband. We were recently married. These [truths] were against my value system and moral upbringing and I had to keep myself from going insane because I couldn’t leave. Why? I had already overstayed, and things were finally looking up. I didn’t want him to stop the filing process knowing I was vulnerable. I was mad for a while and even though the discoveries concerned me deeply, I just had to look past them for a while.
Paula:
The money and the sex were good. But I stayed mostly because I wasn’t working and the money I got could help me.
Erica:
I stayed because of my children. I grew up without a father and I didn’t want my children to experience that.
Alex:
For revenge. I stayed so that I could hurt her the way that she had hurt me. I slept with her friend in her bed.
Candice:
Stupidity. I thought that if I loved him a little more and tried a little harder, I could fix things and that I could change him.
Kevin:
Because I pitied her. She was crying and I felt sorry for her, so I just decided I would try to make it work.
McWayne:
Love, the fear of being alone, the fear of not being able to find someone else who would love me, as well as the lack of self-love and self-respect. I wasn’t strong enough. I feared change. I feared the idea of having to start over, and so I became a prisoner to my fears and insecurities. I was both rewarded and punished by these toxic relationships. Although now I continue to give my all without regrets, I have also established boundaries and I have deal-breakers.
Patricia:
The children, and the thought of raising them without him when they loved him so much. These are the kind of children who would wait until he got home before going to bed. I couldn’t do that to them, so I suppressed the pain. I looked past the verbal abuse, I looked past the humiliation of his cheating ways, because I am sure — while I never heard it myself — that I was the laughing stock of our small town. I protected myself from possible sexual diseases and I dedicated my time to raising my children well.
Natalie:
Marriage. I am a Christian and a firm believer in the institution of marriage. I made some vows before God that I take very seriously, and so I knew that I had to stay true to them. I have worked hard to live by these vows, no matter how often I feel like throwing in the towel.
Sash:
Love. I was young and naÃive, and when I love I give my all. There were no boundaries to my love, and so even though I knew that I should have moved on, my love for him spoke much louder.