20 things to never apologise for
SOME women have been socialised to say ‘sorry’ and take the blame for certain things, even when we’re not guilty.This behaviour may be as a result of our natural instinct to try and make peace in potentially inflammatory situations, or to make other people feel comfortable.But there are some situations in life when we should never apologise — one being for other people. Relationship, marriage and family therapist Wayne Powell says it makes no sense to apologise on someone else’s behalf, as you take on their issues and they will never take responsibility for their own actions.Twenty other things a woman should never apologise for include: 1. Her ability to match and surpass the skill and performance levels of her male counterpartAccording to Powell, if you have to apologise because you’re just as bright or even smarter than the man if your life, you may need to reconsider your options. 2. Walking away from a physically abusive relationshipThough this speaks for itself, the relationship therapist said that if you have to apologise for this, it means that someone is trampling on your self-empowerment. 3. Upholding your moral and ethical values despite the odds“Never be apologetic about your integrity,” Powell declared. 4. Wanting to attain personal development and growthPowell said anyone who doesn’t want you to attain upward mobility is not good for you. 5. Desiring happiness and fulfilment in your relationship“Anything contrary is not good for your emotional health,” Powell said. 6. Committing to someone and expecting reciprocityHe explained that expecting to receive what you give is quite OK, as unrequited love is not easy to deal with. 7. Expressing your emotions and feelingsPowell said anything that makes you more confident, as long as it’s done in a respectful way, is OK. 8. Being yourself and not being pretentious“It’s important to not lose your identity trying to please others,” he said. 10. Being confident and self-assured“It goes back to expressing your feelings and emotions. Know who you are and don’t wait for someone’s validation,” Powell said. 11. Your social stratum“Not all of us were born with a gold spoon or had the luxury of certain amenities. Don’t apologise for where you are in life, but ensure you make the steps to better yourself. Progress is good,” Powell advised. 12. Your imperfections“Remember that none of us are perfect and we all have our shortcomings; some can be fixed, some can’t,” Powell said. 13. Speaking the truthPowell said honesty is the best policy, and that’s all that matters. Try not to be hurtful, though. 14. How you spend your money“As long as you don’t end up penniless, how you spend what you earn is really no one else’s business,” Powell said. 15. Wanting ‘me’ time“Taking time to reflect, recoup and assess your life is quite normal and acceptable. If you don’t want to be in the company of others, you don’t need to apologise for that,” Powell stated. 16. Having a child out of wedlock“Children are a blessing, and if you fornicated and got pregnant and already made peace with God, if for instance you’re a Christian, you don’t need to apologise to humans,” he said. 17. Following your dreamsPowell said at the end of the day you don’t want to self-loathe and live a life of regrets, so pursue your passions, as long as they’re not self-destructive. 18. Who you choose to love“Love has no bounds,” he said. 19. Saying noThe therapist said that standing your ground should be applauded by those around you and not frowned upon. He said, however, to remember this does not mean being disrespectful. 20. Your priorities“You know what matters to you most and what takes precedence in your life. Never apologise if what you value does not match up to someone else’s priorities,” he urged.
